Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
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Top comments
taerts 9
I feel extremely sad for the robbed man :(
bosskidz20 2
Dafuq
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Comments (143)
neilph 4
I don't see how this is a problem...
ssnowywinter 0
Who leaves their wallet or purse anywhere in a public place? Thats just begging for it to be stolen. Even worse, OP, why would you let it happen?
tabba_tabba 2
The bad news, they probably have camera's and you will go down as an accomplice!!
princev4 3
I bet OP takes it in the hiney.
C94_ 0
damn
TGOD00 5
Who leaves their wallet out in the open, in public?!?
dsl1dsl1 1
79- what's the point in typing shorthand to make typing easier if you are going to make more work for yourself by typing out the full meaning? and on a note related to the fml yd a crummy relationship if you're going to tolerate criminal behavior.
jester613 2
Grow a pair and dump that thieving bitch
desireev 18
So your thief of a girlfriend turned you on?! That's so wrong on so many levels!! YDI!!
kittenvks 11
What the hell are you talking about?!
TomHarrow 5
Yeah, what the hell are you talking about? Think before you speak. Op pussed out. Couldn't keep his girl from being a thieving bitch. Turned on? You are so wrong.
inlove72 11
What the hell are you talking about?! Do you not read over your comment before you post it?
enopola 5
Maybe he's a submissive.
blueeyedwolf 10
desireev doesn't understand AWOL apparently.. it means he lost his nerve aka 'manparts', not got turned on.. google is your friend so you don't look stupid.. oh too late!
HannahWho 8
Mail it back to him with the amount of money she took from the wallet. Then go to her house, make sure you have all your things, and change your locks. Change your phone number, bank, passwords, ect. THEN break up with her when she has nothing on you.