Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML
Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML
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Top comments
Shallow_Padentic 0
Next time pick up your shit. Its not hard to go unnoticed. you could have used your foot. Not the waiters fault.
Jari 0
My immediate response would be, "No thanks, I'm straight." Helps cover your ass and punish the waiter, all in one.
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Comments (43)
FeelMuchBetter 0
What a jerk! Hope you didn't tip him!
Shallow_Padentic 0
Next time pick up your shit. Its not hard to go unnoticed. you could have used your foot. Not the waiters fault.
NoWayLady 13
At least he uses protection?
PaperxHearts_xox 0
You deserved it. Just think; if you had just picked it up, you would've stayed basically inconspicous, and you wouldn't be embarassed. but since you felt no need to pick up your crap, you got embarassed. good for the waiter x)
Raedoll 0
Well, if the Condom was in your wallet you -deserved- the embarrassment. Ifnot, I'm sorry that happened but really honestly it's not that hard to pick it up. I'm a girl and I've had a condom in my wallet, my guy friends gave me the oddest looks but I said it was a joke; ESPECIALLY because the condom was in my wallet.
24788 7
Don't keep a condom in your pocket. Find a better spot.
thuglifenigga_fml 0
damn right!
sexaaydino 14
It was in his wallet, dumbass -.-
Hidebehindarock 19
Where do men keep their wallets? It's in a pocket..
that_guy_you_are 0
So what, OP? Man up and let her know your intentions.
WindStoner 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha way to go. If that isn't an innuendo I dunno what is. The waiter is solid. lmao
SarahB_fml 0
That waiter was a total douche!
UFCFIGHTER 0
I agree with #9
blahblahblah43 0
hope u didnt tip the waiter