Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that one of my intellectually challenged friends now holds an engineering position at an aircraft company. She wasn't a fan of flying before, and now refuses to set foot anywhere near any aircraft of any kind. FML
Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML
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Top comments
Livelife121 30
It's ******* flying roaches, who doesn't have an extreme fear of them?
Wizardo 34
Well that's a ridiculous racial stereotype, you should educate her OP.
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Comments (103)
itsnotyourfault 9
What kind of world is she living in??? It's a freakin bug that flys!!!
davincidasecond 24
What I'm wondering is where the authors of a lot these fmls find these idiotic females. Find a woman with some common sense OP.
IGaveRickUp 15
Eh, who cares. Doesn't matter if you're afraid. As long as you stand on that chair and scream high pitched, LIKE A MAN.
Radoh 3
Welp, she's racist.
andrealovvve 17
Yea totally even tho she's dating him.
azhang1066 12
How does that make sense at all?
Enslaved 38
My mother/family are from the Caribbean islands and eat things that would almost put Andrew Zimmern to shame. A mild one-- Once we had our American friends over for dinner and they all freaked out we served fish and shrimp with the heads still on. Couldn't stand being watched I guess.
TheDrifter 24
Strange, depending on the fish, that's fairly common in Canada. Leaving them intact helps hold the flavor and seasonings in the meat.
Jazer22 10
Eat it bro, if you are from Dominican Republic you won't die. If You are Cuban you'll possibly live longer than Castro. If you are from Puerto Rico well.... ****...
morella_xx 29
Why is everyone assuming the girlfriend was being literal (and racist)? I can't be the only person who's ever heard that expression used before to mean something/one is no big deal.
morella_xx 29
I live in Charleston, SC, and we have flying roaches here. I was terrified of them when I first moved here a few years ago, but now they barely warrant an "eww, gross," before I smush them. I've heard that they're pretty common in the Caribbean too (which is where SC got them from - karma for the slave trade!) so I don't know, OP, I'd kind of expect you to be a little more used to the roaches too.
Omniprism 15
Flying roaches are scary.
jw90 18
Hey I'm with you man. Roaches are evil bastards.