Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that one of my intellectually challenged friends now holds an engineering position at an aircraft company. She wasn't a fan of flying before, and now refuses to set foot anywhere near any aircraft of any kind. FML
Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML
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Top comments
Livelife121 30
It's ******* flying roaches, who doesn't have an extreme fear of them?
Wizardo 34
Well that's a ridiculous racial stereotype, you should educate her OP.
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Comments (103)
graceinsheepwear 34
I just Googled flying roaches and found several good serving suggestions.
KiddNYC1O 22
Someone's glued to their nest.
worldclassrager 41
Grow a pair and try it...fear factor does it all the time...
graceinsheepwear 34
Do roaches give you the howling fantods?
hotshot0185 15
That's ridiculous , everyone knows people from the Caribbean are *******.
lovekiki 19
I don't blame you. Those winged creatures from hell give me nightmares.
Cami111 2
Number 81 Hotshot 0185 Go suck a dick :) my boyfriend is Jamaican and he's not a pussy Just cause he's Jamaican dosent mean he would eat Roches that's discusting would u eat them than? Since UR not a PUSSY
hotshot0185 15
I never said he would eat them, that's even more ridiculous, he's not from Asia.
Treyzania 16
Where is your country? Am I hallucinating again?
JPattonD 6
Next time you see her take a dump in her toilet then grab it out of the bowl and eat it then grab her by the back of her head and French kiss her and be all like '' that's how I roll beotch! ''
seacadet 18
You are the worst boyfriend I have ever heard of. But I have heard of you. (Pirates of the Caribbean reference) And Roaches taste like peanuts.