Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that one of my intellectually challenged friends now holds an engineering position at an aircraft company. She wasn't a fan of flying before, and now refuses to set foot anywhere near any aircraft of any kind. FML
Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML
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Top comments
Livelife121 30
It's ******* flying roaches, who doesn't have an extreme fear of them?
Wizardo 34
Well that's a ridiculous racial stereotype, you should educate her OP.
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Comments (103)
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Well look on a small bright side. I know men who are so afraid of moths they flee in terror.
olpally 33
What an idiot... Really?
Coop817 19
Chances are, she is afraid of them too
MrSarary 26
Yeah sure Sucks that guys have to be the ones to take care of the critters... face your fears maybe?
cookie07_fml 5
at least she didn't try to put it on your food
thatnucca 36
Damn, for breakfast though?! With a side of locust eggs too huh?! Smdh
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Flying insects are scatter as shit!
awkwardloveannie 28
she might have watched pirates of the Caribbean one to many times
colvindj 22
Aye, flying cockroaches ain't no joke man.
jabi3jabi3 8
Who just brings up their fear for flying roaches?
alwayswinning123 7
Maybe they were talking about their fears?