Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Right place, wrong time
Today, as I'd been going to a gym with my wife as a guest on her account, I joined as a regular member. However, before I had time to go under my own membership, the gym closed down due to the coronavirus. FML
Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML
Unfit
Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML
Man vs Boy
Today, it was my first day at a new gym, which cost a fortune. Some skinny teen who had clearly never lifted in his life dropped a weight while I was stretching and broke my ankle. Money down the drain. FML
I have no idea what I'm doing
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML
Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML
The first step is the hardest
Today, I went to the gym after months of procrastinating. I walked straight into the glass wall next to the entrance instead of the door. A guy lifting near the front desk winced in sympathy. I still worked out, but I could see my face slowly swelling in the mirror. FML
Know your place
Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked, "Women's weights room." Oh. FML
Today, I determined that the only reason I still have a membership to my gym is that the special gummy bears they have in the vending machines are amazing. FML
Top comments
OneBigMessUp 5
Hopefully you can get a refund?:)
Soloman212 28
Why is everyone saying it's ironic? It's not. What would have been ironic was if he used to have premium, and DOWNGRADED to non-premium.
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Comments (165)
tenniscrazy2 6
Oh, the irony...
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
What gym is that? That's pretty damn expensive for a NON-premium membership O_o Get a refund and try a different gym
juicedboi 7
Gym is the wrong choice. Take your $300 and go buy Jim, Jack, and Johnny. You won't regret it. Not until the next day anyway...
Pixxio_O 11
Steal all the construction equipment over night
ally_85 1
that's means u now get to use the premium at the non premium price.....duh
Casuality 6
That's when you threaten to sue them and because they don't want the bad publicity (I assume they're a large company since they can afford construction), they upgrade you to premium.It's not like it will cost them anything anyway...But bad publicity and compensation money will.
MrSassypants 34
16 you're right. You have to pay the maximum amount of mony to get the best hook... wait... what are we talking about again?
ktateprado 0
Take the weights, and hit them in the vaginas.
Iamnotmyself 17
-63 it's usually a flat rate, the pimp is the one with the hard decision making. And boy I tell you prices are way competitive!
chuckychan 8
Maybe you could help with the construction and lose weight that way!
stro88 6
A gym is for noobs anyway. Why don't you run outside and use your body weight. Your probably not bodybuilding anyway.
Troy_K 7
A gym is for noobs. Nah, the noobs are the ones that go there 6 days a week for 2 hours at a time only to get burned out and not come back for months at a time, therefore, not doing anything but using your body's muscle memory from the first stretch and not getting any new results. Three days a week, one hour each session, 100% effort. Win.
Keyman1212 14
It's the gym for hipsters! You don't want it to be mainstream, and as far as I'm concerned, a gym membership to a gym that is ironic, AND doesn't exist is pretty much so not mainstream.
sparxva 12
...not really. More like 'fraud' or "bait and switch" I really do think.
eshhayz 0
if they don't refund you, you can prove that there was offer & acceptance, therefore creating a binding contract (assuming the strong probability that there was intention to create legal relations) . it is only an invitation to treat UNTIL some consideration / acceptance is made
iJasper 8
LOL How Ironic!
ktateprado 0
Hey Anthony.
MrSassypants 34
2 since your comment is not really worth replying to, your name sounds like a weird, stupid apple product.
TheMystery_fml 6
^ someones sounds a little sassy
MrSassypants 34
103 just a little? I'm about to get more sassy just because of that, actually nevermind. I won't get my sassiness level up higher right now. There are other things that need to higher right now if you catch my drift. Now excuse me I'ma go fly my kite.
anencephalic 14
I actually preferred Mrs Assypants, whatever happened to her?
OneBigMessUp 5
Hopefully you can get a refund?:)
ktateprado 0
Or a lawsuit.
themaddog 0
In gum.
rdot90 1
Yes I will take a refund in trident layers!
manzanita2121 6
And instead get p90x :)
Jazze_fml 10
to be fair unless they upgrade his meber ship this sounds incredibly illegal. you can't sell a service that doesn't exist
christianmary182 0
Nobody ever refunds me in gum...
imsoawesome123 0
Your hot.
IndiRae 9
Irony bites another helpless soul in the ass.
ktateprado 0
And eats it.
mierz 6
You shouldn't have been so cheap and got the premium
kevsnev 7
I screwed up sorry
ktateprado 0
^ ya dun goofed.
shutupYDI 4
you look just like Jason segal.(Marshall from how I met your mother)
Superflykid 5
Go premium :) op
LuHGiiiT 11
Wouldn't the OP go premium regardless since all of the non-premium gyms are gone?
Black_Letter 19
Just another example of The Man bringin down the working class!
sara_saturday 5
damn the man! (save the empire!)
cheer4ever96 8
Well that's ironic. You should get a refund.
katay97 6
very ironic, sorry. but they shouldnt even have sold that to you!
Holy_ish 19
Raise hell till get a refund