Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
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Top comments
maydayyparade 27
that's 100% his fault, he should have actually blocked the punch and not be a little bitch about it
dramaelf 37
Don't worry, he doesn't have a case. And you don't want a whiner like that teaching you anyway.
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Comments (50)
dramaelf 37
Don't worry, he doesn't have a case. And you don't want a whiner like that teaching you anyway.
thawny_fml 21
It honestly sounds like OP was set up.
ColorOfSoul 19
If he can't even block your punch, there aren't much you can learn from him. The ban makes no difference whatsoever.
noonenoeone 22
There isn't much he can learn anyways. The cops should laugh it off he really tries to file a report, but make sure your friends/classmates will corroborate your story just in case.
maydayyparade 27
that's 100% his fault, he should have actually blocked the punch and not be a little bitch about it
hersheykisses511 18
Wow, I wouldn't go to his classes if he didn't ban you anyway. Hopefully you can explain to the police what happened and they'll be sympathetic about it.
Brandi_Faith 34
Seriously though, what's the guy going to say. Instructor: "Officer, that man hit me" Officer: "aren't you the teacher of this martial arts class?" Instructor: "yes" Officer: "so..." "Did the other students hit you as well? Should I arrest the whole class? Moron."
BlobfishUnite 14
I think it happened in the karate dojo from yesterday's FML.
tektiteTriforce 3
at least he noticed you
rabid_otaku 29
That's senpai, an upperclassman. Sensei is a teacher. :)
BellaP13 24
Senpai is someone you wish would notice you. Not sensei
laden_swallow09 35
Just like in my Japanese animes! :D Kawaii desu ne!
doodlecloud 27
Yeah, pretty sure 4 knows they're not the same and was just making a joke. I thought it was funny anyway, nearly joked on my drink.
ZoroMiHawk 25
Baka!
FweakofCydonia 40
"Joked on" a drink? You mean "choked on", right?
HSArchon 9
To be fair, if you're Genos, the line between "sensei" and "senpai" begins to blur.
WittyMoron 22
Pretty sure he doesn't have a right to do that. That's unacceptable, OP.
GeorgiaBea 28
I wouldn't be too concerned about the police. Accidents happen, and it's kind of his job to take a punch.
laden_swallow09 35
You have witnesses, right? It was in a dojo after all, yeah? No worries! His case hasn't a leg to stand on.
gunnerysgt 15
Not an arm to block a punch with
oliv34 11
yea crime is not a foot at this point ;)
divinorum11 11
SeriousLee reassuring.
GreekGleek6 22
If my sensei didn't block my punch he'd probably be the one in trouble from my Shihan.
sureshadow 23
Shihan?
jackien1 6
Grandmaster in japanese
donuts678 25
You should be the sensei
sunsetium 14
I think he is embarassed about not being able to block it. Still it is a total dick move coming from your sensei. I am curious about what martial art this is, mind telling me?
Calingaladha 21
From sensei, I assume karate.