Today, I flew from Texas to meet my new girlfriend's family in Georgia. Turns out her sister was a random hookup I had a year earlier on a business trip, she remembered me as the douchebag with premature ejaculation. Guess who’s flying home single? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML
Today, I flew cross-country to see my girlfriend of three years. Once I got there, she broke up with me. I was supposed to be staying for a month and now I have nowhere to go. FML
Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML
Today, I ran into a guy I knew from 3 years ago. He just moved here from out of state and is planning to stay forever. This is the same guy who dated me long distance and dumped me after a while because he “couldn’t handle long distance.” He just got engaged to a girl who lives here. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bogrbon 27
I mean, if you needed proof you had a type, you now have it.
bloopaloop 27
You still got the sister combo! Way to go buddy!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (10)
bloopaloop 27
You still got the sister combo! Way to go buddy!
Sagar Nair 12
Small world aint it, champ?
Bogrbon 27
I mean, if you needed proof you had a type, you now have it.
RichardPencil 32
Why? If you're not a Two-Pump Chump with your girlfriend (that you've been dating for less than a year) then who cares what kind of douchebag you were to a rando?
genuinegoodguy 9
Sorry to hear of your premature ejaculation problems. But you didn’t have to be a douche.
RichardPencil 32
Usually when a guy has premature ejaculation, he's usually apologetic and makes excuses. Or so I've heard.
BurnInDemonFire 39
My guess is some douchebag with premature ejaculation issues. Was I right?
Perry85 42
Need a bit more context, how long have you been dating your girlfriend? If you were with her at the time of hook up then YDI, if not then FYI
diraven 15
Should have told them that douchebag was your twin brother. You could have had a hilarious double date!
Brightside86 31
I don't see the problem. Were you truly awful to her sister or something? Maybe it's different for girls but I've slept with my friends and brothers Ex and it's not a big deal we're all just people. As for premature ejaculation that's a very solvable problem doesn't seem like thing that you should be ridiculed for.