Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
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Top comments
maydayyparade 27
that's 100% his fault, he should have actually blocked the punch and not be a little bitch about it
dramaelf 37
Don't worry, he doesn't have a case. And you don't want a whiner like that teaching you anyway.
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Comments (50)
UhHuhHoney 20
Idk why I immediately thought of "Notice me senpai, notice me!!" Hehe
Sathane 21
LOL. As a martial arts instructor myself, he has no case. Martial artists accept the fact that the risk in the sport is very real. Also, since he's supposed to be the "expert" it would be hilarious if you brought up the fact that his "skills" are obvious bullshit and all he's qualified to teach is how to whine like a bitch.
Ramb0 20
knock him out so he can't call the cops.
moocowmilk0 19
your sensei sounds like a whiny ass bitch
HSArchon 9
Sucks that your sensei isn't Saitama.
expertsmilee 26
Remember not to use the heater in the winter in order to strengthen your mind!
Lazare_fml 10
100% approved.
barlos88 19
So disappointing to hear something like this. It sounds like it could have been a great opportunity for your Sensei to teach the class how to take a punch which can often be more important than knowing how to block one
LPac5295 27
You are better off finding another dojo to learn in. If the sensei is that much of a whiny bitch then you're not learning anything about how to defend yourself. Even if the police get involved you will be just fine OP.
andrmac 25
I would recommend finding out if he is insured. He should have liability insurance that covers him if he accidentally injures you or kills you and if he gets hurt teaching. He's probably trying to con you out of money using scare tactics. He has not leg to stand on and if he's not insured offer to sue him for injuring your hand and false advertising as being a professional. The reverse lawsuit for millions usually make idiots like this go away.
HeyPeople13 16
He's probably just too embarrassed to keep a student in his class who can actually punch him.
aneerenberg 6
what a miss on a number of teaching opportunities.