Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
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Top comments
maydayyparade 27
that's 100% his fault, he should have actually blocked the punch and not be a little bitch about it
dramaelf 37
Don't worry, he doesn't have a case. And you don't want a whiner like that teaching you anyway.
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Comments (50)
Hildy93 21
This makes absolutely no sense!
RedPillSucks 33
no sensei? eh? ...., eh? no? I'll just punch my way out...
LyricaSilvan 30
Something tells me either he was setting you up, or he ****** up and was too embarrassed to let anyone know he couldn't block a punch.
DrHales 3
This will get thrown out in court in 2 seconds. Just start looking for a new instructor and don't think too much about it.
SecundusSecunda 27
Clearly, your sensei didn't wax on and wax off enough.
IndefiniteBeauty 17
That's his fault. You shouldn't be banned for his idiocy. He made the mistake so it's all on him.
Zanquis 22
Time to start teaching yourself, start advertising about how you are so good your former sensei could not even block you... Make sure you name him properly so all his students will transfer to you.
Frungy 9
I'm going to start by saying that if the instructor told you to throw a punch at him, and you did what he asked, when he asked, how he asked, then he has no room to complain and nobody will take him seriously. HOWEVER... If you didn't do what he asked, how he asked and when he asked then he has every right to throw you out. If I ask someone to throw a slow punch to my face and instead they try to kick me in the groin ... well, that's crossing the line from a co-operative training exercise to someone just outright assaulting me. And the instructor might not be prepared for something like that. That doesn't mean they're bad at martial arts, it just means they're talking to the class and expecting a slow and easy punch where they can show the technique in slow motion while they explain what's going on to everyone else. Even expert martial artists can get sucker punched. I'm not saying that's what happened, but I have seen it happen more than once. Step back and honestly ask yourself: "Did I do what was asked, how it was asked for and when it was asked for?" If you threw a fast punch when he asked for a slow, or a belly punch when he asked for a shoulder punch, or did anything other than what was requested, then you need to be honest with yourself and admit that you owe him an apology. If the instructor didn't specify what was required, or if you delivered what was required, then you're in the clear.
russfml 31
This sounds like a solid case of student teaches instructor lol
Fuzy2K 7
At first I thought you had thrown a cup of juice at him, which would have made getting the police involved a bit silly.
Bragi 12
The police won't care, OP, it's a contact sport. Time for a new dojo.