Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
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Top comments
maydayyparade 27
that's 100% his fault, he should have actually blocked the punch and not be a little bitch about it
dramaelf 37
Don't worry, he doesn't have a case. And you don't want a whiner like that teaching you anyway.
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Comments (50)
Titan_Slayer 21
I hope that you don't give up on martial arts because of this. Find a different school.
Carlitosfmc 18
For me, it's clear you have surpassed your master
IIIIRowdy 5
He is not a real sensei then
8djht8 19
Sounds like this sensei doesn't deserve that title. AWWWW did the poor wittle martial arts master get a boo boo? goo goo gaa gaa, the whole school should jump him. He brings great dishonor to his family.
SolidSteak 5
Find a real dojo and tell your instructor he's a ******* know-nothing pussy.
lechatsurletable 14
Well hey, at least you've been saved from practicing bullshido, right?
Steve7910 6
your full of shit
randommanwill 11
The answer is simple: join the rival dojo, make sure you have the best kung fu ever, and then do and defeat your former sensei in mortal kombat. In all seriousness, don't worry about his threats. In that line of work, it's reasonably foreseeable that he would get hit, and if the students in the class back you up, he has nothing to stand on if he tries to sue you. You're better off finding a different instructor anyway. By the way, what style do you practice?
xxWTFxx1981 23
I wouldn't worry about the police as long as there are other witnesses. Plus even the dumbest if cops should realize you were in a martial arts class. It's a contact sport.... lol