Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
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Top comments
maydayyparade 27
that's 100% his fault, he should have actually blocked the punch and not be a little bitch about it
dramaelf 37
Don't worry, he doesn't have a case. And you don't want a whiner like that teaching you anyway.
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Comments (50)
townailz 16
"Karate instructor sues for getting beat up by student" could see that as a headline. Seems to me like you don't need his help
iWantSprite 12
At least now you know he's clearly not really about that life. Now you can find an actual sensei who applaudes instead of cries when one of his students is able to land a hit.
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, yeah, as a fighter, if your instructor can't be arsed to follow his own instructions and can't take a punch, he's a shitty instructor.
nickie_94 18
He's just mad that you made him look bad. Not much of a sensei
Ihavegas 22
occupational hazard he cant do shit
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Why aren't you teaching the class instead?
Zilten 10
Failing to block your punch probably brought disgrace to him and his family, but he seems like too much of a whiny bitch to commit sepukku
thisisthestupid 18
If he really calls the cops on you he doesn't have a case cause it's a physical class you have legal right to beat the shot out of him
dtdrpepperguy 14
Pretty sure this FML is fake. Thats literally too much stupidity to actually exist.
Xion0014 20
I'd get my money back lol this guy is teaching you but can't block a punch?