Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
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Top comments
ztpalmer93 0
what did you do to deserve that
effthis 0
hope your kids are ok
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Comments (173)
kangaroo62 2
FIRST!!!!!!!!
fissionman1 0
btw, glad to know what grade you're in.
fyourlife33 0
damn i had hope that maybe people were over the 1st outburst, wrong. and why the next person felt the need to say second im not sure. and i'm pretty sure you should have just beat his ass and left
genius_man16 1
DOES THAT HURT!?!? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's the funniest shit i've read today. FYL, but goddamn that's hilarious
spins615 0
I wonder if #9 knows what a Sensei is...good luck kicking their ass you fucktard...to the OP, they don't outburst like that unless you did something your probably a punk like all the other goof's in my school... YDI.
riley0_0 0
way to say everything like that just based on assumptions.
pyroanarchist23 0
or maybe the senseis just a dick...maybe? lol
Kyothine 0
Nice job you attention-hogs. Replying to the first comment just so you can get your post on the top.
pineappleassasin 0
looks whos talking ******
gayguysf 0
ydi for living in korea
flakes_fml 0
Comment moderated. LOL JK!
GalacticOtterFed 0
#126 you got told
b00stFeD 0
second lulz!
ztpalmer93 0
what did you do to deserve that
regalarius 0
That's what I'm wondering too...these guys are ordinarily (although I guess not always...) pretty disciplined...
divineinstrument 2
It must be hard maintaining that level of discipline. A few of them must crack and turn psycho... like this one! Sue that bitch for assault or something
Monado 0
It's legal for the sensei to do this kind of crap to him in Korea.
uberchicken 0
Kinda hard to sweep the leg when your down and your balls are crushed.
4dakill 0
HE DESERVES IT FOR USING PROCEDED
nixibeast 0
trolls.
effthis 0
hope your kids are ok
fissionman1 0
I'd have called the police for sexual harrassment.
stray94 0
me too
humorizer 14
Lol, this is korea we're talking about. Are you daft?
CryingHowls 0
that doesn't mean there's no law. are YOU daft? dude, the sensei is just teaching and using a child as an example. either the OP deserved this lesson or the sensei thought this lesson had to be taught the hard way. nothing out of the ordinary. get over it.
JCho321 0
uh its a martial arts class. that just shows how pussy u really are if ur gonna call the cops on a nth degree black belt for disciplining you. asia in general is pretty hardcore compared to the US where people sue mcdonalds cause it made them fat. ...and win.
MR_OHCRAP 0
I agree with Jcho/#109. Asians are brought up pretty damn hard, because our parents are somewhat conservative and most of them don't give a shit about anything you say. We are brought up like this because they want us to become successful. And also, it is quite common to see the Asian parents whack/hit their child, so if you think this is wrong, just back off and see why there are so many smart Asians.
barlessprison 16
yeah sure of course because Koreans just go round choking people and crushing balls, right? -rolls eyes-
drimpossible 0
actually it is interesting, I've read accounts of training in Korea. Hee Il Cho, a prominent Tae Kwon Do instructor described the training as brutal. He wasn't boasting, he actually thought it was physically bad for you (people spending a lot of time off recovering from injuries when they could be training). During the 50s the senior students used to brutalize the juniors, just as they had been brutalized.
hanamama 0
Absolutely. Tends to happen a lot if uke is not doing his job by trying to keep from doing the ukemi. Wonder what OP was doing to merit this.
codyxfail 0
******* weabbo.
animosiity 0
too bad asians are ugly :|
TheThrasher_fml 0
police have done this too me
Darkon 0
So did you learn anything?
nmp1026 0
lmao!
yeahitstella 0
A guest? I'd recommend telling them about it...
Dboy23 0
I would called the cops **** him.
cmtriplecage 1
do u even no wut a sensei is?
melpo 0
Doesn't mean you can't call the police rtard. Sounds fake anyway, or on the slim chance it's real OP must have deserved it.
gorbagil 0
I am a second degree black belt and i kno that they only do that if u misbehave YDI
ForestFire0 1
Shut the **** up #52. What do you think he signed up for martial arts for? to be ******* violent. So I think he was expecting violence, just maybe not to be on the recieving end of it. So, yeah, he deserves it, because he was probably being a brat to someone who can kick his ass.
eaglesfan761 0
Oh yeah, because when people go to martial arts class, they just EXPECT their TEACHER to attack them for no reason.
ihatestupidppl 0
lol I pictured this one and it cracked me up
19avengers 0
he did say he was going to teach him some manners + #11 said Sensei's only do that to punish you - So the SENSEI didn't attack for no reason you stupid moron.... #78 you're reply was GOLD lmao... #52 there is no such word as 'noone' its no one... TWO words - learn to fucken speak english....
thereitgo 1
hahahaha. epic reference
Bloodrush 0
#90 you are commenting on people's English when you say fucken....its "*******"....learn to speak ******* English...
Capn 0
Get off your high horse Bloodhorse... People tend to type in methods that resemble speech patterns. I type ******' and fucken all the time because I want to put some personality in the speech. Noone is wrong, no matter what. These are informal forums so writing in a form of slang is just fine. OP: I'm going to assume YDI.
joey32411 0
So wait, my boyfriend allowed to do WHAT to the kids who misbehave in his karate class??? o.0
dragonstrike94 8
Rape them^
Mefreh 0
In America, you could sue him for that, And in my school, my Sensei would do the exact same thing to him, what an asshole.
jewjewbee 6
Well that's great, but the OP is posting from Korea.