Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML
Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML
Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
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Top comments
nananabatmannnn 0
Prepared to act offended? That's why no one likes you. Playing hard to get is for middle schoolers. And wear sunscreen unless you want to look like leather chaps by the time you're thirty.
Carpy 8
OP, why the hell would you prepare to act offended if you were wanting to flirt? Isn't that kinda like being a bitch to a guy but then also wanting his attention? Grow up. If you don't want guys looking at your rack then stop showing them when you're out. If you want a guy to flirt with you, try talking to him like you're not an attention-seeking bitch & tell him you're interested. Playing hard to get is for middle-schoolers.
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Comments (82)
alicecanitbe 0
soOOoooo did you buy it and did it help??? just wondering :/
Apreale 0
it's ok. if you have big chi-chi's and that's all he said, he's gay....
TheSithAssassin 15
Yes because all men MUST need big ****. No and I hate when women say that. First for demoralizing women with smaller chests. Second, because I personally dislike larger breasts but hey that's a perference not a law. Assuming he's gay must come in handy for someone like you who needs the excuse.
Wandering_Ninja 8
I like smaller breasts, they fit in my hand better
MizzErikaHart 8
pshhhh whatever....C cups r perfect
SeerePetrova 0
i dont mind huge or small breasts... i like em both....
AnagenisisZagus 13
33, do you find yourself saying that often? I can see it.
a_nutritionist 10
let me guess mz erika, you have C cups. what a surprise. i say that in advance because i know youre not intelligent enough to see past your own nose.
fthku 13
I'm guessing you were rejected many times, Apreale? Word of advice, it doesn't help your case to start calling guys gay just because they won't go out with you.
Petunia888 13
That's stupid. There's ass men, leg men, breast men, etc. Not every man wants a chick with huge breasts. And if they do, that's okay, too. But to assume all men like the same thing is like saying all women like men with blonde hair. Learn a little bit about men before you start talking about them.
khlinka 0
Lmao I still get hit on and my boobs are small. Not all straight guys like huge boobs. Most big ones come on bigger girls, because boobs are just fat. Why would a ton of fat on your chest be attractive?
Kawboy 1
95 has a very good point! I'm an ass kinda guy, **** don't matter to me. Hell you can buy them pretty much anywhere these days lol
daeemann 1
I agree. Big chi-chi's are cool. LoL.
i_love_my_man 0
that's nasty.boob burn lol
trainheartnet 1
Sexy
kasumii 1
Yeah Aloe is helpful. Try a plant or aloe juice.
goshpeople 4
No wonder guys have a hard time figuring out what girls want. So presumably the OP was wearing a low-cut shirt, showing off her assets, and LIKED the fact that an attractive guy was taking a look -- yet she was going to act offended by it. Then on top of that, after being oh-so-offended, she was going to flirt with him. Totally mixed signals. YDI.
khlinka 0
Only dumb ****** do that lol
I_Bite 22
See I'd just be like "Hey, eyes are up here" but with a flirty tone and cheeky smile so he knows I'm not really offended but that he's been caught, then cue flirting and proceed to phone numbers :)
panda_chick 2
ydi for Tryna show them off when they look disgusting
adv3nt 2
You totally deserve that, and ffs use some sunblock before you give those girls cancer.
visage 0
This is why I practice the 3 second rule. When checking a woman out there is nothing I cannot see in 3 seconds... that way you're less likely to be considered (or called out on) being a creeper. I'm 34, and it's worked rock solid so far :)
MizzErikaHart 8
but born in 82..?
ryankon518 3
He's probably gay...
BWill9014 4
Yeah, because flaky boobs are so attractive... I mean ANYONE who doesn't like those are obviously a homosexual... yeah no dumb ass...