Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
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Top comments
Harpy20 24
You've got yourself one hell of a creeper. FYL.
vespergreen 17
Have a can of pepper spray on standby for self-defence!!
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Comments (99)
vespergreen 17
Have a can of pepper spray on standby for self-defence!!
winkydog4056 16
#2_defense, #
winkydog4056 16
#2_* defense, #17_* cocaine, #20_* bananas, #19_* peeling & #25_* aloe.
Likian5 26
*defense
Jiplo 18
Agreed! Only thing is I can't tell if this is epic trolling or major WTF situation.
Harpy20 24
You've got yourself one hell of a creeper. FYL.
sens3sfailing 25
All I could think of when I read this was "Cocain is one hell of a drug"
andiewithlove 21
If she was a creeper all you would've heard was "kssssssssSSSSSSSSSSS...BOOM!"
kittynbooh 9
That's just a bit disturbing...
dayzz1 10
It makes a sound ?? .... But still, ouch!
nikininja 4
Kind of like the sound of cling wrap but softer. ... I think I want to gag now.
dayzz1 10
Oh wow :/ yep I'm with you on that one *gag*
sirpantselot 22
You must closely resemble a banana.
chrissy2 28
But banana's don't make a "sound".
Teyros 24
You're right. She doesn't make a sound. She types out on FML about how weird that is.
TrueTriage 16
I'm curious what kind of sunburn puns people could come up with...
PinkKawaiiChic 10
Here's a bad sunburn pun: It's time to peel out of there.
sirpantselot 22
I haven't red any good ones. How sunsmart can UV?
eddeeezzyy 19
This reminds me of Micky Rooney off of a family guy episode that likes to rip off people's scabs.
PrincessLiLi_fml 7
I feel that it's probably much less hilarious in real life...
zango1 15
I'd definitely have to go with someone wanting to peel someone else's.
LosAngelesSon 8
How about simply saying, "No." Think that'll work? Deny her the opportunity, she must stop asking.
KM96 24
No, because she "won't take no for an answer" - so it probably will not.
KiddNYC1O 22
How about simply brushing-up on your reading skills? :P
newbiehere99 6
I haven't punched a girl in the face but... I still wouldn't. Tell her for every peel, you get to fondle her boobs ... And that you won't take No for an answer!
sens3sfailing 25
What if she's into it an what if OP isn't a lesbian? Then she just boned herself HARD!