Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML
Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML
Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
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Top comments
nananabatmannnn 0
Prepared to act offended? That's why no one likes you. Playing hard to get is for middle schoolers. And wear sunscreen unless you want to look like leather chaps by the time you're thirty.
Carpy 8
OP, why the hell would you prepare to act offended if you were wanting to flirt? Isn't that kinda like being a bitch to a guy but then also wanting his attention? Grow up. If you don't want guys looking at your rack then stop showing them when you're out. If you want a guy to flirt with you, try talking to him like you're not an attention-seeking bitch & tell him you're interested. Playing hard to get is for middle-schoolers.
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Comments (82)
EvilDave 13
You either act offended or you flirt. You don't do both.
O_oxMiAxo_O 7
Gosh, arrogant much?
samicna 4
a doctor? great catch!
mhnilo88 0
assuming makes an ass out of u and me.
Sparkiee93 3
Uhg. You deserve it for thinking your flakey **** are attractive enough to reveal/be stared at.
pinkspaceboundro 0
so that means he WAS staring at your cleavage- and the only way to get out of it was to say your peeling!!!! lol
Petunia888 13
"Today I happened to glance at a woman's chest, only to find that the skin was peeling. I told her to use aloe, then I left to throw up. FML."
MellisaTatum 6
I think anybody looking at your profile is going to stare at your ****. FYL.(:
ObeseKitten 0
2 big Apples a day keeps the doctor away
blahman52 2
He was staring at your ****, but he is gaming you. He is good, I need lessons :(
blahman52 2
Agreed.... women cause unnecessary drama... we as men need to be more assholes, only way women will learn...