Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
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Top comments
bladomas 2
why not both? serve him while naked
ManInTheMachine 20
I think you took him too literally, OP. Guys are crazy about the kinky cook. Just put on an apron, start cooking, and pasta might not be the only thing on the menu. ;)
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Comments (67)
gothika88_fml 5
Why is everyone assuming she isn't or didnt already make dinner. Maybe it's done, in the process of being done, or she has take out in mind. Either way I would be pretty upset if my bf responded with that. He could have said okay as long as that hot body comes with a hot meal
Luluthus 41
Wow. That sucks OP, FYL.
fantasyworld 39
He has two hands that I presume aren't broken.
benszt15 5
******* savage
Deadpoolscomedywriter 6
my girlfriend texted me saying that she couldn't wait for me to get home and that she dressed up as a naked lady. just to try to be sexy back, but I was hungry and said "you should dress up as someone who was making my dinner, FML
xxWTFxx1981 23
Haven't you heard of the phrase feed me, f#$k me, let me sleep and preferably in that order.
randybryant799 21
And???? That's it?