Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML
Today, after my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, I'd packed my belongings and quit my job to go help my mom take care of him. Now she's had a stroke, so I spend my days/nights taking care of both of them. The thing is, I have 3 siblings that live within 5 miles that can't lift a finger to help. I love my parents. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, a day after my mom and I got the vaccine, we've been doing everything around the house with one hand each through the pain. My dad hasn't helped out at all despite my requests, and sees nothing wrong with this. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML
Today I ran across the street to help a woman who had fallen off her bicycle. While running, I tripped and broke my arm. Surgery is needed. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
I find this humerus.
Quinn32 16
Well at least the surgeries went alright.
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Comments (80)
Quinn32 16
Well at least the surgeries went alright.
kishuu_fml 1
break a leg
1Brucie 2
Didn't he do well!
yupitssoph 18
Well getting around the house is going to be a handful.
annie_nk 23
Just go ahead and ignore my previous comment. Not sure how it ended up here. The comment that reply goes to got deleted.
Hollzbananza 15
Wouldn't that make it three arms TOGETHER? Unless you originally had 4 arms each, then I guess that would make sense...
ant1078 7
someone please explain to #2 what COMBINED means...
SApprentice 34
4- The OP added '"we each have three", and "each" voided out the "combined", making it sound like each member of the family has three available arms.
Hollzbananza 15
^
ant1078 7
whoa whoa whoa, where did "each" come from, I swear it wasn't there before, I guess my testosterone got to my head, sorry #2
StalkerChick 13
Well it isn't there now. Someone's screwing with us >_<
countryrose92 23
The word "each" is not in the post. I am officially confused now
spekledworf 18
It's possible that "each" was in the original post and the FML Gods removed it
SApprentice 34
It was there. The rulers of FML tend to remove errors once they have been pointed out.
annie_nk 23
Sometimes they remove a big chunk of the FML. For example: I saw one in moderation about a guy who went cycling with his family down a volcanic mountain in Hawaii. The FML is he crashed and got tore up pretty bad. When it made it to the front page, FML took out the Hawaii part completely.
iShanny 13
You each have three arms, huh?
alicette_fml 12
but in the family combined xD
SApprentice 34
This could end badly, especially if you are all on heavy pain medication. I hope you have another relative checking in on the three of you.
Welshite 40
Teamwork!
bulbul116_fml 4
that's a cool threesome
godhatesyou777 3
Only if you like cripple ****... But, hey whatever floats your boat.
zingline89 18
Cripple incest ****. Sad thing is, I'm sure that exists.
ManInTheMachine 20
Rule 34; No exceptions.
iOceanus 18
12 - Cripple, incest **** on pain meds.
zingline89 18
I find this humerus.
Hollzbananza 15
Was it your left arm? If so, I guess you're all right now.
MormonPornstar 7
Anatomy jokes :)
Inheritance 10
If you're a guy and as long as you have your dominate arm you're good! If you know what I mean.
kglo 7
Thank you, your lame joke just made my day
Parky03 9
No corrections on how he spelled "humorous"?
fatjacks 8
54- The humerus is a long bone in the arm that runs from the shoulder to the elbow. He was making a joke.
imavelociraptor 6
54- that was the joke... Humerus is a bone in your arm...
imavelociraptor 6
Oops. Sorry. I started writing my comment and i got distracted. Then when i posted it i saw yours... I didn't mean to copy you! :(
fatjacks 8
Lol it's no big deal. (:
DohIMissed 6
XD
Parky03 9
Sorry, didn't get the pun... I feel stupid...
astralvagan 20
Heaven forbid you all get thrown into an impromptu game of Twister. I seriously do hope all goes well though, OP
tacojauns 45
**** i can't think of a comment FYL op
ManInTheMachine 20
If your mom has a 'third arm', then how did she have you? I think your parents have some explaining to d-- Wait, third ARM, not third LEG. Carry on.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
*pats shoulder sympathetically* it was a good try Maninthemachine