Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML
Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well, I'm still not attracted to you though." FML
Today, a girl I've liked for the longest time kept asking me to reveal my "deepest secret" in exchange for hers. Thinking this was flirting, I told her my secret was that I liked her. Her secret was that she was a "lesbian and just had to tell somebody." FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
serves you right. mind games aren't cool
wtfidkwtp 8
Tying to make her jealous is not how to win over a girl!
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Comments (100)
erriiinn 9
Don't tell a girl you have a 'thing' when you don't she will just move on
itooamscrewed 10
Well if you aren't gay you must be 15 because that is some stupid bs right there. "Oh you're sleeping with someone else? That makes me want to get into a relationship with you!" Said no sane girl ever. Grow up. Until then you probably don't deserve a relationship
shanebob 15
I'm fairly certain that is the worst way to pick up a girl. YDI.
amisenho 11
Sorry. Most girls don't think man-****** are sexy. That's like telling a Burger King employee that McDonald's burgers are better, even when you know Burger King's burgers are obviously better. It's just going to make the Burger King employee resent you. Sorry, my analogy machine is a little garbled at the moment.
channelmonica 17
YDI. If you like this girl, don't be a dick by trying to make her jealous. End of discussion.
llytaa 2
Don't ever try to make a girl jealous. If you like her just be honest.
dDailydDosage 8
Your strategy in a round about way worked. Now she knows you're not gay and new feelings if likeness and a bit if jealousy can now grow with this realization.
mookiemookie01 24
What have you been doing to make her think you're gay?
iKristien 5
... I really don't get why guys think they can win a girl's heart by telling them they have something going on with another girl. Do you really think that makes us jealous or turns us on? I mean, if someone would come up to me and say "hey, I got this 'thing' going on with a girl, hu hu hu", I'd be more like "okay then, good for you" instead of "OMG I WANT YOU NOW!"
LRSandTJB412 8
Seriously? Making a girl jealous will only make her not like you.