anon
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
fucked
San Francisco, United States
Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
TacoMan32
Canada
Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML
Anonymous
Oops.
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
mrsimintrouble
Redding, United States
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
Tey
United States
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
heymacie
Beckley, United States
Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML
evenpoorer
United States
Bad day, huh?
Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML
Chloe
United Kingdom
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Anonymous
Elwood, Australia
Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML
ari
United States
Freak
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Top comments
ilyuhms 0
i wish my job was that exciting
SxeDaze 13
Must have been a "BOMB" day at work...no , okay ill go back under my rock.
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Comments (107)
pfx2_fml 15
Maybe it's a joke they play on the new guy
sydie5 12
Don't complain; at least your job will never be boring.
bizarre_ftw 22
No but at some point a colleague could walk in and say "Jim's dead!" *get a cup of coffee* "ugh! Who made this?! So Jack, how're the wife and kids?" and everyone would be fine with it
max500 4
53- shut the **** up, your comments ******* suck everytime.
Cobro 5
Sounds like you had a blast! But then again you are security so you can't refuse these types of situations.
superpokgai123 0
How does tht suck? U probably get 2 walk around blowin up ppl with a shotgun!
SgtStud 4
Yes because security guards usually carry shotguns...
flockz 20
being a mall cap is a risky career choice.
FYLDeep 26
Is that similar to a baseball cap? Regardless, I don't think I'd want to be either one.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Speak for yourself.
flockz 20
no it's not the same as a baseball cap. being a mall cap involves some heavy handed shit, like looking authoritative, while keeping that suave that only a mall cap can have. not to mention it has to be the perfect fit so it doesn't fly off the head of the mall cop while going blistering speeds on his segway. now baseball caps, ohhhhhhh let me tell you what. first of all, they're all mega-*****. always dirty, sweaty, and worn out until they smell like shit. not to mention anyone can wear one. have you seen one baseball cap with authority? no you haven't because baseball caps are the hookers of the cap world. and if you disagree then do this. turn the lights off. then take your baseball cap and sniff it. now doesn't that smell remind of you of that time you didn't shower for a week and you reached into your pants to scratch your plums and the fungus--- ok nevermind i think you get it.
FlyingWhisps 5
Well that is one exciting first day! Look on the bright side, OP! You'll always have a story to tell all your friends.
FYLDeep 26
And everybody knows it's the new guy's job to defuse the bomb while everyone else evacuates.
heresIsaac 4
Osama has risen
iam_yummylicious 12
But he was never killed! *crazyconspiracytheoristmumbling*
EmilyStrauch 8
Amen!
jbo116 0
I'd kill to have an exciting job like that!
Epikouros 32
Don't use the word 'kill' on your application form :)
HannahPaloozah 0
That'll be a story to tell the grandkids !