Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jimster1712 0
At least its better than Hebert the pedophile showing up in his room....
dtbomb 3
O man if the Rock came into my room I would be scared shitless because he is massive
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (311)
Demon666_fml 9
Haha
juliahockey 0
That was a ******* awful movie too.
glutgyoogle 6
How is this an FML??
YDIbigtimebro 4
So I threw it on the ground!!!
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, but who would complain if The Rock showed up in there room? I know I wouldn't.
rallets 23
it doesnt matter what you think!!! The Rock is gonna layeth the smackethdown on all yo jabroni asses!!! if ya smell-la-la-la-la-la-la-ow what The Rock... is cooking
afulks78 11
Way to waste the first comment on the fml ^
Manganimegrl 16
Somehow, 1, your pic matches the comment you made... Both very creepy and unnecessary.
13FTW 9
48, #1 did not "waste" the first comment. He brutally ****** the shit out of the chances for anyone to post an ingenious comment as the first.
Hermione1398 9
Yes. Yes, it was. xD
BayleeWasHere 1
OMG!! Your pic scared to F out of me...FML
13FTW 9
The "F" out of you? What's the "F"? Farts? Fanny? Flops? Fangs? I GOT IT. It scared the flockz out of you!! I so smart.
iGlasses 4
Fricking weirdo?? Who ousts that as their pic??!!! Frigging weirdos that's who.
brianjman14 23
113, calm down, it's just an album cover...
zombicidal 11
perhaps its his picture because he likes the band I don't really like their Singer but the instruments are good
HetaliaFreak 10
Hey, a big black man used to sneak into MY room at night, too!
MrShizzBear 0
this wasn't much of an FML, sorry
ChronicBluntz420 7
That's a ******* awesome picture.
bizarre_ftw 22
144 - they have counseling for that (I'm pretty sure the Rock isn't black so... Unnecessary racial insult?)
pyromania21 0
lol run in and rock bottom him in the middle the night
flockz 20
who did i come out of?
Justforlolz 14
220- apparently BayleeWasHere got so scared, she relieved herself of you. Quick question: What were you doing inside of her?
BayleeWasHere 1
LOL!! "F" as in fudge! xD
BayleeWasHere 1
OMG people. I wasn't truly scared of the picture. It was just a shock because I was not expecting a demon picture at that time. Yes, now looking at it, no it's not scarry. Just the shock of it at that time. These haters don't need to get so worked up about nothing. xD Love ya!!
BayleeWasHere 1
( ^_^ )/
BayleeWasHere 1
I JUST CAME TO SAY HELLO! xD
Porschephile 0
Kids these days..
Imgonnahaveabf 9
What an ironic comment for someone who's username looks like "pedophile", with a car as your picture. Free candy?
instnt1nfction 17
Better than finding than the undertaker in your room
Wozuh 5
32- The suffix '-phile' means "lover of". So the name Porchephile would hint that they love Porches.
Wozuh 5
Porsche** Pardon me.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
99- kiss my ass.
zombicidal 11
but isn't pedo for foot I think it should be pediaphile like pediatrician
Imgonnahaveabf 9
I love how I was about to get the kick ass comments badge, and then my comment gets moderated, thanks.
Stonedmanalex 0
same
midnightxloner 1
How does it get moderated?
allen2688 6
More like movies these days
allard 14
I'm not gonna lie, I'd much rather Barney's Turd giving me money. Fruity pebbles. Rise Against Hate. Hustle loyalty respect. Cenation. Chain gang. You Can't See Me. Anyone? ANYONE?'
EPICROCKERNINJA 8
256...huh?
dogpup4 23
Why does this have 32 thumbs down?
BayleeWasHere 1
YO'!!!!!!!!!!
BayleeWasHere 1
Losers these days.
Jimster1712 0
At least its better than Hebert the pedophile showing up in his room....
juliahockey 0
"you wanna Popsicle? I got some downstairs. "
tsim_fml 0
in the family guy episode of stewie afraid of the tooth fairy, it wasn't herbert, it was some random guy dressed up as a fairy and rolling around in the teeth...
ThatGuyRory 9
Or Gary Glitter?
DrDilllonReese 12
28- WAY too soon.
chiddy_bang71 0
Jerry Sandusky jokes are old. However, the boys in his shower, are not.
grocerybag 3
that's the way i like 'em!!!
FMLandurstoo 9
It's ok I'm here. Mmmmhmmmmm
ThursdayA 3
At least it's not a sparkling vampire.
tsim_fml 0
28 - South Park has done it.... not too soon.
Meowingtons500 18
Herbert the pervert! :D
DrDilllonReese 12
But with south park it's never too soon.
tsim_fml 0
185 - they must write so fast to get the jokes in so soon
sexynarwhal 6
The comment and picture work perfectly.
Fenthik 4
The stupidity of your comment and your picture go together perfectly.
Sgrocks 5
When does the narwhals bacon? :) my username is happygal34 hmu
nuggetmonster 12
True that
CheeseOnTheSide 3
Lol watch him get a rock underneath his pillow.
Wicked361 8
Do you not know who The Rock is?
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson is no pet.
yankfan89 27
I would also be very worried if I found him under my little brother's pillow
chiddy_bang71 0
Shit, I'd take a former-college-football-player-turned-washed-up-actor over a quarter any day.
KalieRanee 4
That was a fail...
Flutequeen 0
That comment is the definition of lame!
me_gusta_eso 1
And so is that one. ^
sydie5 12
208 - somehow your comment and picture makes me despise you already.
smash1122 6
So is yours
dtbomb 3
O man if the Rock came into my room I would be scared shitless because he is massive
DevilGirl66 15
Yes he is huge and I'm pretty sure it would scare anyone if he just magically appeared in someone's room
zombicidal 11
the Tutu might ruin some of that intimidation though
KiddNYC1O 22
If he appears as he does in Fast Five, I'm running... fast.
ShelbyyCakess 0
Man, if The Rock came into my room in the middle of the night I can only imagine what I'd do to him lmao.
flockz 20
if he was only wearing a tutu, then i wouldn't be intimidated by his scariness, it would be his massive rod.
Xly_fml 5
That movie was hilarious in a bad sort of way... your brother's awesome.
Jason199615 0
wow he thinks of huge gay men instead of a hot tooth fairy..
seanoc69 7
Yeah but If the kids straight I think he would prefer a hot tooth fairy rather than the rock
Livencountry 5
The ops little brother is just a little kid most likely, since its his first tooth, and he's probably not too interested in "hot tooth fairies" or am I the only one who thinks this? Oh right KaySL beat me to it.
ilovebigtimerush 0
I agree with 52, 97, and 104. It's a little kid. I'm pretty sure the only thing on his mind is toys. Not hot tooth fairies, gay, or straight people.
RebekahBrooke 9
I dunno about you, but the tooth fairy was always an old grandma in my mind.. if that's what you think is hot, well... to each..his own!
ohmandapants 17
The kid probably thinks girls have cooties. So yeah, it's perfectly natural for him to prefer The Rock. He probably really likes the guy too. Shit, as a kid I would have been ******* stoked if he was my tooth fairy. Not because he's a guy, but because I ******* loved The Rock.
zombicidal 11
the rock doesn't just show up he breaks down the ******* wall because he is that bad ass!
ashtonkay 7
Haha you betchya' socks he is!
zombicidal 11
if I bet my socks does that mean that I win other people who bet their socks socks
oreobunbun 3
Paper covers rock?
ashtonkay 7
No I'm just not a money gambler ;) at least with socks it's a lose/lose anyways. I don't want YOUR socks and I don't want you to take mine. Lose.....& lose. Level setting yourself is always a fine quality in having self confidence(: long story short NEVER bet me on anything lmao
TheHardwick3 7
Maybe he does want your socks XP foot fetish
wwwowww 4
the 'Rock' is a legend
speshlk37 13
Maybe if he masterbates hard enough...
mnmolino 14
I'd want The Rock to pay me too