Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML
Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
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Top comments
ChloeRattlehead 22
Well, we know now that we can trust those cops to save us during the apocalypse.
oyeh 19
I thought they were supposed to teach Common Sense at the academy? Guess they forgot too.
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Comments (93)
crackajak 15
I've never read an FML that was more in need of a follow up.
crackajak 15
*an, or a*, get at me grammar nazis.
littleking94 14
a*....... just ****** around lol
littleking94 14
gotta love cops, (sarcasm at its finest).
I_am_GIR 20
Your make up must have pretty good if you scared them.
siggy_mcsigx 22
There was absolutely no reason to point a gun at the OP.
katekoala 13
I mean to be fair, it's June. No one is expecting anyone to be in costume.
allforfun 23
If the cops find a person covered in what looks like blood, they will call for EMS. We're pretty good at discerning between real and fake bodily fluids, so unless he violated some sort of law he would not be cuffed and had guns pointed at him.
noonenoeone 22
So you're speaking for all officers based on your personal opinion? You sound just like a cop to me... Your mentality is part of the problem.
Mauskau 36
I've walked home from school covered in blood several times, I get nosebleeds a lot. If a police officer pinned me down and pointed a gun at me I'd probably get another one lol.
momo7866 3
R u white
killigan 12
Did you put up any sort of resistance? If they thought you were hurt somehow and were fighting to get away, they would be obliged to detain you until EMT's got there. If that was the case, being at gunpoint was probably a precaution. After all, they wouldn't have checked you for weapons yet. And for those complaining about police, come on, get over it! If a few select officers did something bad it does not mean that they are all bad. Put yourselves in their shoes. I don't know about you but I would take as many precautions as possible to make sure I, or a fellow officer, would not get harmed.
superspy3214 16
If the cops didn't go after people with bloody clothes then any murderer could just put on a zombie mask and be ok