Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML
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Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
Sucks to be you, but I hope your eye twitched while he was talking to you. A little muttering under the breath wouldn't hurt either.
perdix 31
Fake blood washes off easily. The real stuff can be very difficult, especially when you're still on the adrenaline rush after killing. It get even harder when the cops come and your conscience kicks in -- you're not the bad-ass sociopath you thought you were, huh? Haunted hayride? Nice alibi, but it's not a license to kill. MWAHAHAHA!
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Comments (73)
SaintJimmy 0
Sucks to be you, but I hope your eye twitched while he was talking to you. A little muttering under the breath wouldn't hurt either.
MK1029 0
So.... Where's the FML? It said he stopped you for questioning, not he took you in. This FML sucks ass.
Reyo 2
It's still an inconvenience, and not every cop is going to play by the "innocent untill proven guilty" moral. When I was in a car accident a month ago, the first cop on the scene started yelling at me like it was my fault after 5 seconds of "assessing" the situation. The second cop chewed the first one's ass out that it was NOT my fault and in fact the other guy, but it was still aggravating. I woulda had some fun though. "Do you know of a stabbing that took place earlier tonight?" "Ye- noooo...wait, you mean the one down by *specific address*?" "No..." "Oh, phew, nevermind. No, no I don't know of any stabbing." You might get in trouble for messing with a cop though...:D
noobgang7 5
I do that all the time, there was a cop down the street from me and as I walked by I was like "how did they find me already I just killed the guy 20 mins ago" and I booked it up the street and they were just laughing :p
O_oa 0
FYL. Maybe you should have washed it when you got home?
Sun_Kissed18 25
Maybe he was walking home when he was stopped?
perdix 31
Fake blood washes off easily. The real stuff can be very difficult, especially when you're still on the adrenaline rush after killing. It get even harder when the cops come and your conscience kicks in -- you're not the bad-ass sociopath you thought you were, huh? Haunted hayride? Nice alibi, but it's not a license to kill. MWAHAHAHA!
chelzy 0
I'm a sociopath!!! for some things. for example, stabbing a guy who grabbed my ass. I still love though!!!
Superawesomestev 0
Not an fml but funny non the less.
ddlovatolover 23
Non the less?
Kazze 31
That didn't make "an e" sense.
missmal18 0
Hunt club?
redbluegreen 41
No, Breakfast Club.
electroboy_fml 0
No. Club Nintendo
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
(sigh) Club soda?
8trickster8 0
Club seals
Sun_Kissed18 25
NEVER talk about fight club -.-
daniisme 0
Club Sammich :D
adeanurr 0
I know how you feel. I work at a haunted hayride in Ontario too, scared the shit out of my high roommate and friends in full Joker looking makeup. Love life. Do you work at Colasanti's pherhaps?
IceCream53423 0
and why is this an FML?
Tarak_fml 7
Cool haha not FML tho
Broeman 0
I work at a haunted house too, but this isn't an FML, unless he took you back to the station for questioning or something.
amatayo 0
that stabbing oh well you know how sometimes you just feel like killing someone. well dang it all it struck yesterday.