Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, I had a night shift as a front desk clerk in a nice hotel. Even with 2 years experience, I truly wasn't ready for what was about to happen. From a burned hand by boiling water to unpaid rooms via a guest identification scandal at 3 a.m., everything that could go wrong did. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML
Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the backrest came apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to, "Stop fucking about." I thought this only happened in movies. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kurodansei 16
He figured if he scared you to death you'd never leave work.
Welshite 40
That's ok. He's just getting you prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I'm sorry to say that your chances of surviving are slim at this point.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
kurodansei 16
He figured if he scared you to death you'd never leave work.
cakefete2 31
The boss literally scared the piss out of him.
mfischer 17
28: Yep. That IS what the FML says.
JBChristian 47
I'm sorry #28, I didn't see that.
Testing1234 25
OP deserved it for getting a graveyard job
cakefete2 31
It's a figure if speech to"scare the piss out of someone". It's rare, however, that it happens for real.
Testing1234 25
#39 dude we get it he pissed himself thanks captain obvious
cakefete2 31
Dude stop now while you're only at two buried comments. If you comment again, OP's boss is going to show up and personally escort you somewhere dark.
Lacist 19
Luckily he wasn't literally scared the shit out of.
ohSNAPyall 27
1: No need. OP already works at the Hotel California.
bfsd42 20
29, read your own profile and move on.
Pancakes017 19
That place must be haunted with his bad pranks.
Welshite 40
That's ok. He's just getting you prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I'm sorry to say that your chances of surviving are slim at this point.
AmexBlack 24
Agreed #3 Even if OP managed to get to The Winchester, I still don't think he would last very long..
HersheySquirts 17
It's hard to get paid if you shoot your boss.
ThatOneGuy719 16
Fight or flight.. We know which one OP is
cakefete2 31
Actually... neither. Unless you count the urge to keep your pants dry 'cuz OP certainly fought that.
AmexBlack 24
Shaun of the Dead reference anyone....?
Emmiii_fml 18
Hey, at least your boss seems like a funny guy :P?
Fuaaad1994 31
A lot of people would have reacted the same way so don't worry about it, and at least it wasn't in a very public area
junkman6 22
I'm the opposite, I punch things when I get scared. Much to the chagrin of the poor bastards that dress up in Halloween outfits in July at the fair and jump out to scare people.
ileenefudge 29
#33 if you know that things like scare actors are going to jump you in certain places (theme parks for example) on/near Halloween, and your bad habit it to punch people, you should really just stay home then because that is not a good reaction to have. Especially if you know they are going to jump out at you and you still go then that is still your fault. I work at Great America and one thing we are trained to know, especially at Halloween time, is that if "you don't touch us scare actors then we won't touch you."
snugglesMcGee199 23
#69, did you not read #33's comment? He said people who dress up in Halloween costumes in JULY.
junkman6 22
#69 didn't read my comment at all. What kind of person runs around a fair in July scaring random people. I'm not going to sit at home because some idiots think that's a good idea. If you want to dress up and do that do it in October in a haunted house. I'm honestly really surprised that OPs boss hasn't been clobbered a few times. I know plenty of people who will punch/kick first when something jumps out and scares them. Even friends at surprise birthday parties.
ruckfules85 34
Initiation I guess?
Wyrelia 8
You owe him one.
CoGhostRider 31
At least you're awake now
Rizzen 27
dude your boss sounds fun!
mario2012 18
He sounds like a dick.
AmexBlack 24
How is OPs boss a dick? Most people would call this a joke, pranking, hazing or banter. When you're old enough to get a job you'll find it's a fairly common occurrence in the workplace as part of an initiation prank/rite.
Vahex 19
Your boss sounds awesome :) although if that was me i would have have been scared shitless so no worries