Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML
Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
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Top comments
ChloeRattlehead 22
Well, we know now that we can trust those cops to save us during the apocalypse.
oyeh 19
I thought they were supposed to teach Common Sense at the academy? Guess they forgot too.
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Comments (93)
ProSwimmerFL 16
Really -_-
Cads1 24
Shoot first and ask questions later just too be sure.
LeavenSilva 27
Am I the only one who's at least a little curious as to why OP is working at a Haunted House in June?
ChloeRattlehead 22
my exact thoughts
MrConcise 35
Probably a Six Flags or something. Southern states seem to love amusement parks like that.
LeavenSilva 27
I suppose that makes sense, I live in MN, not many haunted houses around here until October
WhoLikesPie 14
can't believe it took this many comments to see that one, I'm with you
BigC_from_Bama 16
He's in Arkansas...
MrConcise 35
Well, I don't know shit about geography, and I'll openly admit it. I thought Arkansas was southern because I'm from Missouri, meaning it's a little south of us, and we're generally thought of as the dividing line for north and south. At least that's what we tell ourselves to feel important, because nobody gives a **** about this state and St. Louis is awful.
Dick_diamond 22
Don't feel too bad. Missouri is a great state to fly over
snazzymcwho 21
I live in Tennessee and Gatlinburg has at least two year round haunted houses for the tourists.
annmarie_124 15
There is no Six Flags in Arkansas. And there is maybe one amusement park that is actually open, and it kind of sucks. My friend owned a haunted house and they would do a "summer special" and open the haunted house for a week so people could have fun. Maybe that's what they are doing?
dramaelf 37
This could have happened in October and just been posted now.
Theater_Chef_3 30
Hey 31, at least we have six flags and imos pizza, no where else has those 2 things.
MrConcise 35
I don't like either of those things. Feel ashamed of yourself for being proud of that, by the way. Go visit somewhere that's actually nice, then keep telling yourself Imo's and Six Flags are what make somewhere a good place to live. #FuckSTL
NakuEh 27
I'm from Arkansas and there is actually a haunted house here in Arkansas that runs year round. When you live in a state like this you have to get your excitement somewhere.
gill2410 2
Near me there is a huge tourist area with about 5 different haunted houses that run year long.
Polynomial 28
At least they didn't double tap.
meghancuma 14
Why is there a haunted house in June?
enginsteve 17
why the downvotes? A lot of ppl were wandering this...
GuineaPig721 13
I guess you could say you were scared to DEATH
Cads1 24
Also may well have been yelling" I'm on my way home from work please don't shoot me".
calebmeasner123 6
Haunted house in June?
kingnothing123x 11
Well maybe the extra blood an empty bowels will help with your outfit! Great job btw but sorry to hear that
Steephx0 23
My guess is that there could have been a report of a shooter/shooting or some sort of attack, and they were looking for somebody that looked like they just got out of a fight. Or they were just stupid. Hope everything worked out & you were able to explain yourself!
bugluv3 7
Well unless OP is posting this from jail I think they let them off.