Today, I had a conversation with a girl on Tinder, for the third time this month. Just like the other two girls, she turned out to be a prostitute. Only prostitutes will give me the time of day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I matched with a woman on Tinder with whom I'd already talked on another dating app. The conversation had died out pretty quickly, so I was surprised she gave me a second chance. Her first message was to tell me how boring I was on the other app. FML
Today, I had a Tinder date with a girl who lied about her age; she was 22 but had told me she was 37. She used the word “like” seven times in the same sentence and and announced she expected me to pay her entire bill. I just walked away, so she threw a waiter's tray at the back of my head. FML
Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML
Today, the girl I’ve had a crush on for months told me she scored a Tinder date and she’s so excited to go out with him. Just last week, I worked up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend and she told me she doesn’t want a relationship, and “doesn’t believe in love anymore.” FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
I'd be worried they are: scams, police, or have an std.
Brightside86 31
Hey my buddy was having the same issue and discovered his opening line was the problem. Try using your first message to introduce yourself include a few of your intrest and qualities. My buddy found this simple technique to work way better than pickup lines, puns, or looking through their profile and trying to say something clever.
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Comments (7)
John Bigger 3
nothing wrong with commercial affection
Brightside86 31
I'd be worried they are: scams, police, or have an std.
49_Donuts 15
Um, it’s Tinder. What did you expect?
Brightside86 31
Hey my buddy was having the same issue and discovered his opening line was the problem. Try using your first message to introduce yourself include a few of your intrest and qualities. My buddy found this simple technique to work way better than pickup lines, puns, or looking through their profile and trying to say something clever.
Jefftabula 2
Same thing happens to me.
Wadlaen 24
Well, if you can afford it, enjoy the sweet fruits life brings you😜
bobsanction 18
Lucky. I can't even get prostitutes, I only get cam girls.