Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
Today, I had to create a new password for my computer. I had to do it to stop my father from watching porn on my computer. FML
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
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Top comments
ArielTheMermaid 17
Is it really necessary for an 11 year old to have his own personal laptop? And OP, unless he bought it himself, you have rights to take it away
TorisaurusRexxx 10
#1, there are many things that could be done to stop him. Snap his computer in half. Turn off the Internet router. Stab him, light him on fire, and dump his body behind McDonalds. Or simply just take the computer away.
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Comments (164)
satanisthesavior 21
No matter what, there is a way around any parental control software you can install. It might be a pain in the ass to do it, but there are ways to get around even the most secure programs. Or maybe you just used really crappy software (for example, at my highschool, google image search was blocked, but switching to google canada got around it). Also, you seem to be forgetting the fact that **** comes in more than just electronic form. If he wants **** badly enough he will find it, even if you take away all of his electronics. Honestly, I'd opt to just giving him "the birds and the bees" talk. Sex is natural, and since you can't stop him from finding out about it you might as well make sure he at least has the right information before he goes and fills his head up with the wrong information.
satanisthesavior 21
Seriously, people are too uptight these days. It seems like every time we have a new generation the kids get more and more sheltered. If kids really needed that much sheltering humans would have gone extinct a long time ago. Be open and honest. Teach kids properly, rather than trying to prevent them from knowing about it at all.
iwadasn 33
There's a pretty big difference between not wanting your 11-year-old to know anything at all about sex and not wanting your 11-year-old to watch ****.
Marakie 16
Stop making comments so long jeez it is so hard to read
trucker1945 9
I would smash the computer. An 11 year old does not need a computer. Not even for school work. He should be able to do it like we did.
shorty6823 28
Some classes require computer access nowadays.
tenfiftynine 12
Not always. It was mandatory to type an essay at my school. You would lose about 15 points if it was hand writtten.
CharresBarkrey 16
59 - I believe that's why schools have libraries with computers. That's what I used, anyway.
drewflav 17
21 - at age 11 I had my own desktop computer. I used it largely for research for school projects and to help me learn French. Sure, I gamed a bit but this was before DSL was commonplace and I rarely used the internet. Hell, I started gaming when I was 6 before Windows 95, it's how I learned to play chess and get good at it. Would I have had good grades in school without it? Probably not, because being able to research on a computer was waaaay faster than getting my busy mom to take me to the library. I had time limits on the computer except when I was doing schoolwork and wasn't permitted to use it at all for gaming during the week! And for the record, I learned to write cursive before I got good at typing. I learned to type on a TYPEWRITER. /rant from computer geek
Michael_92 20
Yea that's not how that game works. The school isn't allowed to assume everyone has computers. That's why they have the library. You don't need a computer to complete school.
bizarre_ftw 22
So I take it you're completely unaware of things like: Moodle Engrade Turnitin.com Typed paper assignments Projects with at least #_ Internet sources PowerPoint projects Etc...? If the world was the same as when you were growing up then preaching that a kid can get by in the same way you did would be fine However! It's not Times change, they always have and will, the Internet is a great source of knowledge and learning potential, thousands of different cultures and views exist within extraordinarily easy access The Internet is a part of reality now, keeping kids away from it is not only ridiculous, but also harmful — colleges, jobs, social interacting, intellectual persuit, current ideas, they all involve the Internet to some large degree, taking that away from a kid only serves to seriously stunt them
17green17 13
People like you are why change is extremely difficult.
withered 30
#21 And in the stone age they lived without cars, computers, phones, internet,... So why are you using all those things? A child SHOULD use technology. They SHOULD learn how to take advantage of it. It's important part of education, work and makes many things easily accessible. So just because there were no laptops in "your time" and you "didn't need them" doesn't mean children today should be technologically impared.
Zach Wheeler 8
the hell is wrong with you? we arent in your time, so why would we do it like your time. your an idiot
TwoOneFive 11
He seems a bit young for his own laptop.
jelly713 19
I think OP should just get a desktop & keep the laptop for himself. The desktop can be put in the living room for OP can supervise, since he's so concern, that's what my mom did to my older brothers. I didn't have a laptop until middle school but I had to share it with siblings.
buddy51 23
OP looks like your son's gonna be a back door man!! How about a lecture on the objectification of women and men and the terrible damage it does every time you catch him monkey spanking to ****? At least you could infuse his perversity with a morally aware message!
toalysium 15
Probably not. Remember, a lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying.
stormchaser24 24
Better get some stronger passwords for the software (if it has passwords) or make sure he can't set up a different user account. I would just say take it away.
KilaKika 24
Kids DO need a computer. I had to type essays as young as 11. You also need to use the Internet for research.
Ultimate_No 7
Why can't he just use a parent's computer rather than have his own?
Ameel_fml 19
Then the OP's son should use a computer. And not a laptop. Preferably one that's in the main living room, and not facing the wall. So the OP can monitor what his son does, which is really what he should be doing with a child at such a young age anyway. **** isn't the most dangerous thing a kid can find on the internet.
Palirose 22
Say that to our parents who didnt have the internet or a computer to type. Books and type writers ladies and gentlemen. Research can be dome easily by going to a library. :P Just saying.
kawaiisakura 12
#79 most classes I've had ALWAYS require some online resources. It comes with all the technology we have now. Plus, computers are quicker access when you have no way to get to local libraries. However, no 11 year old should have his own laptop. I had to share a desktop computer that was in either my parents room or the living room.
caitlinrawrr 9
I've had a lot of teachers that require book sources for research. Those teachers were mostly in high school and I've only had one college teacher to require it, but I think there are a lot of teachers that are going back to books.
bizarre_ftw 22
99 - and mark twain was right, the telephone was just a passing fad I mean seriously, who uses a phone?! Everyone's Clearly going back to the pony express Do you people learn Nothing from history?! (typed on an iPhone)
withered 30
Same thing as if your great great parents would say "I never went to school. I even can't read. I have worked all my life so you do not need to go school and learn how to read and educate yourself. I managed living without it so can you". Just because something was not available in the past it does not mean it is not required/needed today. So "our parents didn't need computers" is not an argument because technology today is much more available and used. And back then the school did not require that you use computer/internet/whatever. Besides, it is such an advantage you'd be stupid not to use it. Just like you can ride a horse to a job you have 100km away but you won't because modern transport is faster.
strongbad1907 5
Where there's a will there's a wank.
fanaticdragon 10
Surely you mean 'Where there's a WILLY there's a wank?'
darkangel_863 3
Why would you give an 11 year old kid a laptop?! Seems kinda silly.... What do you expect him to do when everything else has been searched and he is not being supervised while on the computer??
EggsinaBasket 9
just let him watch ****. its ****. its not like he is killing kittens.
powerkeep 24
oh I agree that your son should not have his own laptop. he does not need one. but that being said there should be a family computer and printer available so in case he does need to use it for research and school projects you can safely watch over him.