sunshine19217
United States
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
moonlight77
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
welp
Belton, United States
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
FriutlessApple
United Kingdom
Forever alone
Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Anonymous
Enterprise, United States
Classic
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
extraflavour
United Kingdom
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Darwin_Award_Winner
Beaumont, United States
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Lifeless
United States
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
Anonymous
Relatable
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
sad and hungry
Hackensack, United States
Enjoy!
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Fake it til you make it
Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML
Top comments
PhillyFox 0
Why would he care?
UpsidedownKayak 9
OP, he delivers pizza to you, I don't know how often, but he does. He knows you always order a single pizza and that there is no one there with you. Sorry, but you aren't fooling him but you might get him inside to deliver his tip. Does this sound like the beginning of a **** movie to anyone else?
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Comments (73)
christa953 12
ydi
ortega_fml 0
ydi for using make-up to cover up your fugliness.
Nadinek98 0
oh he already knows u don't have a life.
ivanoff 0
she wanted to hump the pizza guy!
PhillyFox 0
Why would he care?
KDubs2156 0
we don't. but it's always nice to have some eye candy while working
iliketurdles 7
Never mind why would he care, why would SHE care enough to put make-up on just to prove you have a life? Here's an idea; actually go get a life.
afdude87 6
insecurities for sure
Alanah101 0
Once I got a free pizza. Well, only because he brought me the wrong one. lol. OP, don't order another pizza. Get dolled up, get out and treat yourself! :)
zy135 1
How does shew deserve it? What if the pizza guy coulda been cute so she coulda gotten a date with him
il_bastardo 0
The fact that she was ordering a whole pizza to eat alone makes you wonder about that...
onlywhenyourdrea 0
Its not like you can order half a Pizza. Besides, I doubt she was going to eat the whole Pizza at once.
Micayla 12
Aww. Well, I suppose he was cute? Maybe you could get a date with him and have a life.
MRGalaxc 0
lol your cute
Aim4thebullseye 4
lol your creepy
IneffableLullaby 13
Instead of wishing you had a life, why don't you go out and get one? Pick up a new hobby that's fairly social. Problem solved.
poptarter 2
wow ... you are beautiful
mort1818 0
I did the same thing but I turned up the volume and made it look like I had friends over
sarabraun8 7
awe]:
BogJuan 5
Are you in awe of the op?
Doortje 30
It's the pizza guy, he doesn't care about your looks and whether you have a life or not, he cares about your tip.
DncrHap 9
and you know what? he probably did! mission accomplished. either that or he was hoping you'd seduce him. either way, your lying worked out for the better.
mintcar 10
Hahaha, you think he really cares? He probably already hates job, he doesn't have time to think about whether you have a life or not.