Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
Today, I had to create a new password for my computer. I had to do it to stop my father from watching porn on my computer. FML
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
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Top comments
ArielTheMermaid 17
Is it really necessary for an 11 year old to have his own personal laptop? And OP, unless he bought it himself, you have rights to take it away
TorisaurusRexxx 10
#1, there are many things that could be done to stop him. Snap his computer in half. Turn off the Internet router. Stab him, light him on fire, and dump his body behind McDonalds. Or simply just take the computer away.
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Comments (164)
burmillababe 7
Parental control software? I think that's your problem right there - perhaps you as a parent could be the one to control what your kid sees? Particularly when you are in the house?
fanaticdragon 10
I may be in the minority here, but while I had access to a computer at 11 (back in the earlier days of Windows' OS's, when laptops were huge, thick briefcase sized things), I did NOT have my own laptop. My dad allowed me to use his once in a while, and we had a shared desktop for the family. I think 11 is far too young for a kid to have his own laptop.
Anubis_81 21
Where there is a will, there is a way. Don't forget also your kids are smarter than you are.
ballpython 15
Your son is 11. Assuming you have some parental authority over him take the freaking laptop and don't let him use it. Kids these days spend way to much time on the internet and absolutely no time playing with rocks and sticks like we used to. Make him be a kid.
TechFire 25
I read this in an old man's voice for the lulz
withered 30
#181 Sigh... So because technology is more avaliable and kids have have access to it you assume they never go out? And how many kids like that do you ACTUALLY know? Doubt that enough that you could preach "kids these days". You just want to whine about "today's kids" to make yourself feel superior because you threw rocks around even though you'd want to use a computer as a kid if you could.
dlas 5
Stopping **** is like making the World stop spinning
SpartanMerc 18
If your 11 year old has his own laptop, you're parenting the wrong way. Spend more time with him and less time trying to give him entertainment tools.
llama612 27
Yeah because it's not like parents have their own stuff to do and it's totally not like kids these days need laptops or computers for school work or anything. Also where does it say anywhere he doesn't spend time with his son? Just because you give your kids a laptop to use does not make the automatic assumption they don't spend time with their kids.
Sandman1917 5
The regular parental controls that come with the computer won't stop it. Try using k9 watchdog. My kids have not been able to bypass that one and it sends you alerts if they try to go to unacceptable sites or tamper with the software. You are doing the right thing as a parent. Keep up the good work.
Epikouros 32
But if you have a strict internet filter, you'll be unable to find a program called k9 watchdog...
Epikouros 32
The only way to get an 11 year old boy to stop watching **** is to start watching it with him and going on about your favorite **** stars. If his parents like it, **** will be as uncool as going to church.
bman0219 4
Quit being an asshole and let him watch it you did lol
m3lyc 18
Lol it's dead easy to stop things opening on startup, all you have to do is go into the settings and tell the program not to and hey presto! No more "parental control" haha. If you don't want him to do that, you'll have to disable the admin account and change password on it and make a seperate user account for him, which isn't fair if it really is his laptop and he wants to install games and programs on it.