Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife says she's not hiding money from me but I checked our joint bank account, which I no longer use, and find she's been transferring money in-and-out of 3 accounts, while taking money from me and getting payday loans to cover it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, my yearly bonus finally hit my bank account while I was busy at work. Hurrah! Unfortunately, I'm married, so by the time I got a second of free time to check my phone, my email was full of my wife's online shopping receipts, including a non-refundable cruise. I wish we could save money… FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML
Today, I found out my husband wasn’t really “working from home” in the evenings. He locks himself in his office until the late hours of the night, having intimate Skype sessions with his coworker. That explains why our joint bank account hasn’t seen a direct deposit this past month. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Your wife must not trust you :/ Sorry OP
blcksocks 19
You work 24/7? When do you poop?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
SoultheWolf 19
Couldn't you just tell her it was spent on a birthday gift for her? You don't have to tell her what it is, just let her know.
scampman 5
Well, won't she feel like a bitch when you reveal what the money was spent on.
Angitia 8
80, without love there is no need for the trust.
misterjez 15
I wish she would show us what's under the head gear.
yahoowizard 16
He might be working all the time, but in her eyes, he's just outside all the time, and now spending money, which made her paranoid. It's not like this never happens or something
iwadasn 33
Why don't you just tell her what you really took the money out for? Seems like a pretty simple fix.
Envythabosslady 1
Throw the gift at her, and tell her insecure ass this is what u spent the money on. And if she is that worried about u having an affair maybe she should step her game up. She must feel like she aint doing something right.
redmane 21
Whoa whoa whoa, slow it down, man. That borders on verbal and physical abuse. This is the problem with people nowadays. They don't talk things out first. They just yell. I would suggest that OP, once she calms down, explain that he took the money out of the bank for her birthday gift.
vuse 1
Here's what you do. Return the gift and show her the money is back in the account. Then show her the return slip and tell her "here is what you were going to get until you decided to be a bitch".
Dommon 7
that's why i never connect accounts with no one.
reason00 3
What the hell kind of useless advice are you people giving? This is his wife, not a random girl. It seems like all these wonderful people are perfect in their relationships. Obviously the long working hours already have her insecure a bit.