Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
How could you?
Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML
Get over it
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
Unreasonable
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Told you so
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Puzzled
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you
Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML
Top comments
KelseyDaBoyz 21
Wow. She has trust issues. Sorry it had to resort to divorce
masschris 17
Thats some crazy shit there man but good for you with the divorce
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Comments (42)
NotCollegeBound 17
I'm not totally sure why this is an FML. I mean, divorce sucks, but she's the one who lost her job, and she's the one with the paranoia issues. It seems you come out ahead for leaving her.
KelseyDaBoyz 21
Wow. She has trust issues. Sorry it had to resort to divorce
TrickyDeath 14
I hope OP can try to get her help or work it out with her first.
yerawizardlizzy 27
21, get her help? Sure. Work it out? No. It's clearly past that point.
MenacingMe 17
I agree that it's a shame, for sure. But I don't think OP could've made a better decision at a better time... Her wife was laid off, meaning they now share the home even more often than before, and OP has become the dependent money maker of the household. She (OP) is essentially the babysitter to the paranoid partner she thought would make it through, "better or worse". My goodness, if that's not reason to file for divorce, I don't know what is.
Allayyyyy194 6
You wrote this whole post like op is a girl and she is gay? There's no insinuation of this at all.
heartofhannah 28
It clearly shows a female head and the FML says "wife". Pretty sure that's enough evidence to say she's gay. Learn to read, #110.
BobbieH 19
Clearly? Depend on where you're reading. It show no sign in my app at all, just the generic head outline for anonymous - where no sex is defined.
Splitbreed 9
There is no mention of the OP's gender. Could be a guy or a girl
masschris 17
Thats some crazy shit there man but good for you with the divorce
PBplusJ 12
Lol that's not a man, man
niiickk_ 7
you dont know that
Spudnik 21
Actually we do. OP is designated as female. So yeah, lesbians.
GhostFox 34
Except they do know that because of the pink "Anonymous" and the female poster symbol.
thawny_fml 21
Pretty sure I call my female friends 'man' all the time. No need to jump on the gender defining band wagon.
Mynamewontfi 40
Well, that's odd, because the app isn't showing me a pink anonymous or a symbol.
MariaGiovanni 25
the fml app updated itself and I can no longer see gender. this new update really sucks.
kyu_Q 19
Well in keeping with the direction the world is going, it seems companirs and sites now have to be gender neutral so they won't be sued for discrimination or gemder bias.
teentee401 37
What app are you using? I can see the gender just fine...
Mynamewontfi 40
I use the FML app on Android, I'm not sure if there are different apps though. Have used the app for a long while now and never had a problem, but it recently had an update. Before this update I could see it as well but now I cannot. Gonna try reinstalling the app I guess, because for some reason, I also see VDM instead of FML when I'm in the home screen.
teentee401 37
I'm on the iPhone app, so maybe that's the problem.
Pixelatedpotato 28
Nope, mine is fine.
Bricktothehead 21
Why exactly is she paranoid? The comments want to know!
MrConfusion 21
No, just you.
jadeleepenguin 29
Many reasons she could be paranoid. A past relationship could have ended because of cheating, or she's just crazy.
secretmisery05 25
What #51 said. Past cheated relationship usually makes people extra paranoid. I know this because this is how my boyfriend is right now. Unfortunately, that means I know too well how such delusions and distrust can lead to a relationship being more of a burden than a joy. It's such a shame too when all you want to do is be happy with a person but all they want to do is watch you to catch you. These issues hinder growth so much because they hack away at a basic relationship foundation - trust. It's not something most can handle and definitely NOT healthy for either party. I'm terribly sorry you had to go through that, OP. Good for you for distancing yourself from such depressing toxicity and showing yourself value by taking care of yourself. I genuinely hope you find your happiness.
MichaelDeSanta 20
She's still checking on you even though you two are divorcing?
HylianBadger 21
She might be looking for a reason to make OP look like the bad guy, so she gets everything in the divorce. If you're caught cheating in a marriage, you get virtually nothing in the settlement.
Apparentlyacunt 18
She might find it too hard to believe that OP is divorcing her because of her faults and is looking for the 'real' reason.
gracehi 33
An adulterer won't necessarily get nothing in a divorce. It depends on the state's divorce laws, specifically if it's a "no fault" state. In a no fault state, the behavior of the parties is not taken into account and everything is always split 50/50 except where a prenuptial agreement applies. It sounds unfair, and it is, but it removes any motivation an adulterer may have for murdering or blackmailing their spouse.
InfiniteSunshine 32
This is the UK, and believe it or not, adultery does not effect the divorce settlement at all, not within the law. Unless there is a prenup involved, but that's even more complicated. Sometimes it can make the guilty party feel bad, so they don't fight as much and award more to the innocent party out of guilt, but that is an action of the individual, not the law's doing. Adultery is only a reason to file, and can make the divorce process quicker, but as far as spousal and child support go, as well as distribution of assets, it effects nothing. Under the law, it's still 50/50 assets, and the party that makes less money is the one that gets the financial support, whether they were the one that cheated or not. This means that even if it was the party that contributed or made less in the relationship who cheated, even though they were the offender, they are still entitled to spousal support (and child if relevant) from the innocent party.
friedpwnadge 25
Is this really an FML though? You're divorcing someone you don't need to be with. This is doing good for yourself. Plus, her jealousy and distrust got her fired.
walid820014 20
Don't ruin your/her life with the divorce dude. Try talking to her and see if it will go great. I hope so.
JosephKorso 15
Chances are that OP has talked to her wife about this, and it either didn't help, or made it worse. Nobody should stay in a relationship where one side is this paranoid. It tends to stress people to the breaking point.
AnimeFan28 21
Op may have already tried talking to them about it. Maybe they've tried every other option already and divorce is the only thing left at this stage. I dont think it'll ruin anything if that's the case. We can't quite assume anything without knowing details.
walid820014 20
Why all the dislikes. I was just saying. No one makes mistakes on earth ? We are all people...
bredahl 26
everyone makes mistakes, though? like accidentally dropping your phone in the toilet, or Bill Clinton losing the nuclear launch codes. It's what makes us human.
GhostFox 34
I can list at least 5 reasons you are getting disliked. 1: You said OP was ruining her life by getting a divorce. 2: You misgendered OP, calling her a dude. 3: You assumed that OP hasn't already discussed this with her wife. 4: You're wording implies that you think OP should stay in an unhealthy, and untrusting relationship, in which her soon-to-be-ex-wife already essentially stalks her. 5: If OP's wife is already stalking her, the relationship is way more likely to destabilize further than it is to turn around and improve.
derperbear 8
everyone makes mistakes but constantly leaving work to spy on your wife is ridiculous. If you are going to be paranoid and not trust your partner then obviously it will start to drive them insane and they will leave you. If you don't trust someone you should not be with them
walid820014 20
I just realised she is gay. God said that gays are going to pay in hell.
Weymere 11
Can you quote me the verse?
interesting33 37
#66 are you trolling or serious? Because if serious - why would your beliefs about God and gay people have anything to do with this? Why bring it up? And why - (if homosexuality were a sin - which I do not believe it is) - would it mean going to hell any more than any other sins? What happened to the we're all human and everyone makes mistakes, forgiving attitude you had before? Being gay is not a mistake, it is not a sin and I do not believe anyone is going to hell for it, but what I don't understand is why being gay would merit this level of condemnation over any other 'sin'. Why does your forgiving attitude earlier suddenly turn to hate filled filth?
walid820014 20
#75 Read the quran.
Leauge 13
You can't fix crazy.
bapbap_fml 15
Given the circumstances it sounds as if divorce may be the best option to avoid ruining his life. A bad break up is still better than being in a miserable, unhealthy relationship forever.
heartofhannah 28
Her life* OP is female
fpants2010 18
Paranoid much? Yikes. Good luck OP!
babywhiz 2
Women are really pissing me off here lately. I am a woman. I just came from Walmart at midnight and it was filled with pregnant women who you can tell woke up the entire household and drug them out. Hubby and tiny children all looking like the walking dead. No wonder women end up single. Lol.
Glynnis62 13
What did you do?
xx000o 27
What didn't she do?