Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife says she's not hiding money from me but I checked our joint bank account, which I no longer use, and find she's been transferring money in-and-out of 3 accounts, while taking money from me and getting payday loans to cover it. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, my yearly bonus finally hit my bank account while I was busy at work. Hurrah! Unfortunately, I'm married, so by the time I got a second of free time to check my phone, my email was full of my wife's online shopping receipts, including a non-refundable cruise. I wish we could save money… FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML
Today, I found out my husband wasn’t really “working from home” in the evenings. He locks himself in his office until the late hours of the night, having intimate Skype sessions with his coworker. That explains why our joint bank account hasn’t seen a direct deposit this past month. FML
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Top comments
MsSoulReaper 27
Your wife must not trust you :/ Sorry OP
blcksocks 19
You work 24/7? When do you poop?
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Comments (100)
DJContravene 0
Gift her the clap, since she thinks it, make it true....
emilyissutee 0
Maybe she just likes to be reassured. Girls love attention even though it's hard for you because of your job. Sorry dude :
DanielleinDC 34
If you are spending long hours away from home, such that you barely have time for friends, much less an affair, as you put it, you probably have little time to spend with your wife. The fact that you spend so little time with your wife--and, for the record, "working late" is a common excuse employed by cheating husbands--has got her suspicious as it is. Then the money goes missing--I assume she handles the day-to-day running of the household--and she gets even more suspicious. If you haven't been the sort to give her lavish presents on her birthday, she might not have made the connection. Heck, she may have thought that you were going to give her a totally unpleasant "surprise" on her birthday. So, you have to reassure her. "I believe someone has a birthday coming up." Spend a little more time with her and less at work. Blah, blah, blah.
MrsTeecee 5
She's gonna feel like a douchebag when she finds out it was for her.
MandieL 27
Could be either she is actually cheating on you, (common if they are accusing you) or she is feeling unloved as if you work that often you obviously don't have enough time for her which may have caused her to cheat (not that I condone that in any way) either way, I think you two need some time together to talk and rekindle your marriage. If she's in fact cheating however, I'd leave her and go to Bermuda by myself :)
hewro_failure 11
This is where you need to just show them that you aren't cheating on them so it doesn't escalade to something bigger and then be mad at them for ruining the surprise
deransc 19
Seperate accounts!
klc20071989_fml 20
For you idiots. by work 24/7 usually means on call 24/7. like tow truck drivers etc
Plastic_Stitchez 25
Motto be rude or anything but Maybe your wife is having an affair and that's why she's blaming you ?
peterblackmer91 12
Are you not allowed to spend any of the money that you earn?