Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was texting while riding my bike (yes, I know, terrible idea). I crashed right into a lamppost, and, even worse, a woman walking by laughed and asked, "Did you just text yourself into that pole?" I just laid there hoping for the ground to swallow me up. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
Is tequila your name or were you pedaling under the influence?
MrSassypants 34
hopefully wearing your helmet. There I finished your sentence.
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Comments (93)
gb_chrs 2
hahaha
Veraymix 6
Just a little banged up huh?
ChickenInMyKitch 4
optimists makes the world go round!
Overseer211 1
My friend crashed his dirtbike...after we got him home his mom asked if the bike was ok not him
YacL 15
Thanks for the insightful comment, 1.
MrSassypants 34
11 well don't leave u hanging was the dirtbike okay?
MrSassypants 34
us* Darn me and my mistakes!
iluvhobos 5
Why is the first comment usually something retarded like, 'hahaha'?
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Maybe OP is just exaggerating or being a little bitch.
Kn0wledge123 21
"Hahaha"? Wow. What an incredibly insightful comment. I'm amazed! Please, show us more of your wisdom!
Overseer211 1
for teh most part a piece was bent tho lol nothin too bad
akmufasa 1
why does it matter if someone says, lol, or hahha. it is a perfectly fine comment. stop trolling so hard... ffs
herrobear 0
So you're saying that you got a little banged up so a concerned guy came over, realized you weren't injured and said thank goodness so you think your life sucks? This is more like an "I'm spoiled and I crave attention."
im_awsome 2
this reminds me of a friend that died in a bike crash yesterday. op yu should be grateful instead of complaining
BadBoyz90210 0
You are lucky u didn't get to hurt he probably meant broken bones cause I have a friend same thing happened to him and he broke his collarbone
dvh62 0
wear a helmet
Pawned71 0
throw the bike at his face... "it's okay at least THAT didn't hurt either"
Sicilysstallion 2
Haha
lendalynn 5
that really sucks op... sorry
69urmutha 0
i think the guy ment "thank god you didnt break your back"
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
But you were...
MrSassypants 34
hopefully wearing your helmet. There I finished your sentence.
EmoFinn 0
haha x)
Neorecon19 18
oblivious bystander is oblivious
platepopper 0
it takes skill to fail. and we both have skill
abluekiwi 0
Not grammatically...
sxe_beast 11
wat point of gramer no us in rl durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dint nebudy tel u??!?!?! retart! GRAMER USLES!
sxe_beast 11
I know the difference between the two. Even if it were spelled correctly that sentence wouldn't have been grammatically correct. What point of grammar no use in real life dur didn't anybody tell you? Retard! Grammar useless!
gb_chrs 2
he meant well XD but luckily you didn't die from such an impact.
amerwin 3
Is tequila your name or were you pedaling under the influence?
PSQ91 6
It may be Tila.
Neorecon19 18
I see what you did there
flockz 20
too bad u weren't chuck norris. he doesn't fall, the ground just wants to be closer to him.
iAmScrubs 19
The guy seems like one of those people who are constantly smiling. If you got shot in the head, he'd probably continue to smile and say the same thing.
emmiep1011 7
I hope you were wearing your helmet...
iAmScrubs 19
There's no greater feeling than a pole from a bicycle seat lodged directly in your ass.