Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
Today, after I'd saved a baby mouse and was filming a YouTube series of me taking care of it, my boyfriend told me he found a “rat” in the kitchen, but not to worry he killed it and fed it to the cat. He killed my baby mouse, and now he’s mad I didn’t praise him for his brilliant extermination job. FML
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
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Top comments
Fire_Starter 0
Can you really train a mouse to not piss on people?
ohmyword08 0
that sucks, don't zoo people have name tags and a uniform ?
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Comments (75)
grimmelok 0
1. Would have saved characters by not putting 'thing' in there 2. LOL
Ajjas013 6
Well, we know one thing now. It wasn't Mickey. BECAUSE MICKEY DOESN'T PEE ON PEOPLE'S HEADS.
grimmelok 0
Really? You had to reply to my comment just so you could be at the top? YOU DON'T DESERVE IT.
bananamilkshake 0
3. What kind of boyfriend do you have?
tencentsakiss 19
nvm it got explained.. I'm so sleepy :]
tencentsakiss 19
that was supposed to post in response to 17.. sorry not trying to treadjack
ohmyword08 0
that sucks, don't zoo people have name tags and a uniform ?
mohamedrocks 0
U deserve it for having a boyfriend
misha1995 0
somebody's bitter
IgniteMe28 0
somebody's joking
GreenHacker 0
somebody's not getting it
Fire_Starter 0
Can you really train a mouse to not piss on people?
diet_otaku 0
no, you can't.
AngelRaven89 0
hahaha that's what I was thinking... I've had mice as pets and they are fairly dirty little things... Who's dumb enough to put a mouse of their head anyway? It sucks but YDI OP even if the guy did work there.
ohmyyLIZ 0
Yeah, wouldn't the person have wearing a uniform? YDI.
PJW 0
YDI for not knowing that you can't train a mouse not to piss wherever it wants to. ;-)
White667 0
You actually can train it to do that. It's just not a common practise and also a weird thing to train.
definatelywierd 0
I think he was wearing a t-shirt with "zoo keeper" written on it in sharpie. very legit
dudeman1212 22
With a backwards 'k'. Just to make it official.
wow2much 0
LOVE ur nickname..... Poppyhead, i remember my dad used to call boys poppyheads so i wouldnt think they were cute but disgusting.... anyway i feel bad for u and ur head... FYL
himiranda 4
why would you want a mouse on your head at all? haha.
besad_fml 0
865-724-7945 I read it while moderating. =) --