Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Was it still attached to her neck, or did it fall to the floor?
onceuponatime456 16
Zombies are NOT real!!! NOT REAL!!!!!l! WTF is wrong with you?
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Was it still attached to her neck, or did it fall to the floor?
onceuponatime456 16
Zombies are NOT real!!! NOT REAL!!!!!l! WTF is wrong with you?
weeping_willow 25
This actually made me laugh out loud. But anyways OP, YLS.
kujiens101 24
If I was your client and you told me that, I would go back to you all the time just to mess with you
graayfox215 15
Shall we bring lucille?
yeongji 31
I hope she is also a fan of the show and not uptight because if both of them applies to her, she would have laughed it off. Believe me, we once had a patient who sounded like a walker when they snored. I couldn't stop thinking there was a walker nearby for the entire shift.
Amanda Sears 5
I watch TWD, and I most likely would have don't it also!!!!