Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
True Love Waits
Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Stud
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Love is love
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Too late
Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML
Top comments
Zebidee 9
OK, I know views on abstinence before marriage varies, but to my mind, YDI huge. If neither of you were virgins, and you were planning on getting married, the idea that you wouldn't have sex just strikes me as bizarre, with this being one of the main reasons. It's going to be a long fifty years.
sam1984_fml 0
*you're welcome (you're welcome! :D)
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Comments (134)
TheNinjaCat 10
what a let down "/
helloletsgo 0
means he's shit too
TheNinjaCat 10
I know, I means he was a let down :3
BelleElle_fml 5
Options = working at it together, polyamory, divorce or cheating.
valri3 0
Just because your spouse sucks at sex, doesn't mean you should divorce them, although people still do.
stephyhull 4
just what I was thinking #52!
pimplayer 0
that happens when you and or you're lover inticipate more than what you got. it's a spychological thing
kweenbitch 0
*your *anticipate *psychological (your welcome! :D)
sam1984_fml 0
*you're welcome (you're welcome! :D)
pinkballoon 0
^^win^^
Hanimon 0
EPIC WIN 90
vegan_muffin 5
I have a feeling someone who thinks women can't be bad at sex has either never had good sex or never had bad sex. Or wait, never had ANY sex.
seanders 10
Man I'm loving this double standard in here. Anytime the woman complains about bad sex people are like " you poor thing" or "get a new man." If the man doesn't like it "he's an asshole" of "it must be him." In conclusion: get over yourselves you stuck up bitches....
fthku 13
Ayame, that has to be one of the dumbest comments I've seen.
thehottness101 3
idiot...124 so true!
cheerchika 0
get over it!!! there will be more sex in the future. maybe hes the one that sucks. but did u enjoy it??
inevitablex 0
seriously 121, women can't be bad at sex? and jockeys just just lie on their backs and horses just happen to race on their own? it takes two to tango, either the guy bombed or the girl sucked, and or a combination of both. with that said, when you're married, you (your husband) will have chances to improve.
TheNinjaCat 10
ugh just get over it, practises makes perfect (:
katieebug 0
I <3 90. lmao WIN.
johnmoore 0
what an asshole
luckylucas26 9
Hahahaha a woman cant be bad at sex!? Your outrageous...
nemcali 34
Nobody said that women cannot be bad at sex. Usually it's a couple issue, they might just not work together. Either way OP's husband's comment was pretty harsh, rude and overall counterproductive
rawr9able 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
O.o you deserve it. Learn how to use what your good momma gave you.
rawr9able 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Plus, if you weren't virgins before you had sex with/married him I would assume you know something about how to please men in bed other than laying there like a dead fish.
jess2gd4u 0
it takes 2 to tango!
awesomeooo3 0
Yeah, he can always teach you to do it how he likes it, no big deal. Although the fact that he just said that outright is a bit shocking and harsh, nice thing for a husband to say. Not really FYL but more that than anything else.
JoeMarie1996 13
duh! it's like test driving a car before you buy it! IT'S A MUST!!
boopityboppity 11
False analogy. The sole purpose of a car is to drive it. That said, reality is relative. It could be a must for you.
Shlack_fml 0
The sole purpose of a car is to be driven, true. One must have either have a key or a manual push start in order to operate a car (yes hotwiring is an option put it seems impractical for this euphemism) and we can infer that op doesn't to a lot of push starting. Why wouldn't you test drive a car before purchasing it? You imply that one should just jump into a car despite the fact that there could be some unforeseen issues with said car.
sduhamel 0
sex before marriage is like test driving a at before u get one babe.
oxAshleAxo 8
I don't understand how sex before marriage is like test driving a car before you buy it. Are you saying a womans sole purpose in life is sex? and if she's "broken" you just won't love her anymore?
zargon 1
There is more to a relationship than sex, obviously, but sex is an important factor. Sexual incompatibility (of any form, whether it be having no sexual chemistry, being into entirely different things, disagreements about the importance of sex in the relationship, disagreements about frequency, or any other form whatsoever) can and will lead to relationship problems, so it's a good idea to find out about and have a chance to work on these issues before a strong commitment like marriage. If you insist on sticking to the tortured car analogy, consider this: The primary function of the car is to get you from point A to point B, but if the seats aren't comfortable, you won't be happy with that car for very long no matter how well it actually drives.
sduhamel 0
160 LOL! and 156 it's a well known saying Hun. dun have to take it so seriously chill:)
oxAshleAxo 8
chill? lol I wasn't taking it seriously. It just didn't make any sense. :)
taureanbeauty293 0
YES!!! Got it in one, Ace :D
GeraldisTheG 3
maybe you should lift your game?
Itsjustinbxtch 0
Still even when it's bad it's good
j300zx 0
wait. what????? Men don't lie! haha
sthrr 6
what a wonderful man! at least he's honest...
Shawnee_dear 10
What's with you pulling the gum out of your mouth in your photo? It's rather disgusting. >_<
shoopd 19
Uhhhh...I'm pretty sure that's a toothbrush and not a piece of gum...
instnt1nfction 17
are you a hipster?
randiZ25 0
is that the "in" thing now to take pictures with a tooth brush in your mouth? these fashion trends these days...
savannamariee 0
ahahaha. funny part is, she probably thinks she's hot shit.
kenziebooo 0
Haha funny thing is ur a hoe and no one cares
acassella 3
At least she doesn't look like a ****
sthrr 6
what a wonderful man! at least he's honest...
supertacowaffle 41
Cough. Douchebag. Cough
ohSNAPyall 27
For real! What a thing to hear on your wedding night! He could have given her the benefit of the doubt that it was nerves (or that maybe he wasn't doing something right). Work at it together, but let him know that it's not cool to talk to you like that.
GLiTTeRz 0
shoulda said something slick back like "I've had better"
emodude44 0
Or, "I'm better when your actually inside me."
scotchnacid 4
agreed
Ikz_Hustler 9
Ouch! But you weren't a virgin so you should've known how to ahem please him
DjeePee 25
Why? Everyone has different tastes, even sexual ones. It's not because you can please boyfriend 1 perfectly, that boyfriend 2 will react the same. That's one reason why I am really fond of having sex before marriage. There has to be some magical chemistry in the bedroom. Ofcourse, there is always hope for OP. You can learn how to please someone. Aha! Communication, communication, lalalalalalala. But, I don't think that's the main problem here. It's the husband. You can say whatever you want, but a 'wonderful', decent person wouldn't be soo mean. He agreed with the stupidity to wait with sex, he can live with the consequences. Instead of blaming her, he could shut his mouth and only open it to give her directions, to communicate. Or to give oral, ofcourse.
boopityboppity 11
I take issue with your wording. "The stupidity..." You don't know their justification or reasons.
DjeePee 25
Yes, yes, ofcourse, they can have had very good and solid reasons - eventhough I can't find a single one - but there are yet so many FML's, so many marriage problems and divorces because of a bad sexual chemistry that I would think people would learn about it. Certainly if they aren't virgins anymore, that's just asking for problems.
Invierno 10
Exactly. If they weren't virgins to begin with, there's always going to be someone else to compare to, even if you really love this person. The fact that they are both able to compare (having had at least one other partner before) and still decided to wait is asking for trouble, even if they have "good reasons," whatever these may be. These "good reasons" may have been logical, but we're dealing with the emotional aspects of the relationship here, and these two obviously do not always coincide. Therefore, if that ship has sailed, there's no reason for them to try to anchor it until the wedding night!
loopyleah 3
haha too bloody right
biwinning88 1
I ager 100% that sex before marriage is so important. you may love someone but how so you know if its sexual or just friendship? there have been people I have loved but the sex was HORRIBLE I couldn't image having to be with only him for the rest of my life. sex is a huge part of marriage always try it first
Doortje 30
And that's why you should take a car for a test-drive before buying it. But hey, he did say for better and for WORSE, right?
BigBoi2187 0
rimshot!
shoopd 19
Well, not a lot of guys like that, but I guess it couldn't hurt to toss the salad a bit.