Today, it's been half a year that I've been having panic attacks whenever I close my eyes and go to sleep. I wake up everyday feeling guilty for not starting my work ahead of time. All throughout the day, I try to keep on working until night, because whenever I try to sleep, take a break, listen to music, or watch a series, I feel guilty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to accept that my anxiety affects me 24/7, even when while I'm sleeping. I genuinely can't remember the last time I had a pleasant dream after falling asleep. FML
Today, I've known for a long time that I generally only wake up at ungodly hours in the night when something is wrong with me. Since last week, I've been doing this pretty much every night. Only now, I can't figure out what's wrong. Consequently, my anxiety is now keeping me awake too. FML
Today, there are two parts to my life: The 12 hours I spend in bed each night trying to fall asleep, with limited success, and the 12 hours I'm up and trying *not* to fall asleep, also with limited success. FML
Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML
Today, I started taking my anxiety meds. Without them I can't function because I'm constantly fighting off panic attacks, but with them I can't function because I get crippling headaches and heartburn and feel tired all the time. FML
Today, I realized that I needed a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, my anxiety-ridden body decided that a good time to have a random panic attack for no reason at all would be when I was trying to go to sleep. Guess I'll stay awake, then. FML
Today, thanks to a side effect from my medication, I'm suffering the longest mild panic attack I've ever had. I'm on day two and it shows no sign of letting up. FML
Today, I had a panic attack while giving a presentation on how to breathe to avoid having panic attacks. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
Ouch. Therapy is a good start. Also, there are groups for workaholics that might be worth looking into.
TwoBytesCarley 27
I second what Mr Poopface said. Panic attacks and chronic guilt about work, especially if you are putting in full days of honest effort, are not healthy and should be addressed with professional help and support.
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Comments (5)
poopface82 25
Ouch. Therapy is a good start. Also, there are groups for workaholics that might be worth looking into.
TwoBytesCarley 27
I second what Mr Poopface said. Panic attacks and chronic guilt about work, especially if you are putting in full days of honest effort, are not healthy and should be addressed with professional help and support.
Crowned Sataness 12
you're trying to live to work. you need to work to live. I would def see a therapist to help you find your ways of balancing life. you're a product of today's work culture, this is what they create. work isn't your whole life, you need to learn how to turn it off after work hours
galactic1 4
That level of anxiety is so hard to live with. If you have access to mental health care I would highly recommend therapy. You could also talk to your regular doctor about anti-anxiety medication. You don't have to live like this.
RichardPencil 32
At least your boss likes that attitude. Not enough to give you a raise, of course, but they are happy you are giving 110%. Or, in your case 300+%.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
If you can, seek out a mental health professional. Burnout is real, and self care is important, but I understand all too well how hard it is to view taking breaks as a positive thing. If you do decide to find a therapist, here are some tips to help - When looking for a therapist, do your research just as when looking for a regular doctor. There's different modalities. To name a few that have pretty solid research behind them: -Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) -Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) -Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) -Emotion-Focused Therapy Remember that any therapist you find is working for *you*. You are allowed to ask for their qualifications, certifications, schooling, etc. You are allowed to tell them no. A very important question to ask them is if they *also* see a therapist. Any therapist that tells you they don't need their own therapist probably isn't a very good one.