Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
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Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
do the chickens have large talons? *adjusts glasses and sniffles*
Mi24hind 0
Hawks. They will admire themselves while destroying cars.
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Comments (100)
mylifesucks07 2
LOL
coolkat77 0
thats awful!!!:(
MrFlintstone 5
say hello to a Saturday buffing and waxing your car
Sielune 8
Tobias??!
Iamnotmyself 17
-21 Animorphs? Get outa here
CasualZombie 6
"do the chickens have large talons?" that's what I think of whenever I hear that word xD
Sacurason 0
Hey, I grew up with animorphs...and I never read the last book!!! Darn!!! Still, leave the animorph fans alone!
MizzErikaHart 8
33...me too, napoleon dynamite ftw
rainbo955 0
I accidentally hit a hawk the other day so I went to see if it was ok, it was laying on it's back moving so I flipped it over and it got up into it's defensive position, it walked a little and seemed like his wing was a little hurt I was so sad, so I came back about 10 mins later to check on it and it was gone so I think it flew away and was okay!! hawks are so pretty and amazing!! :)
Justforlolz 14
^ Cool story bro.
rainbo955 0
lol.
6tori6 5
33- exacty what I was thinking. *huge sigh*
Iamnotmyself 17
-52 They all die, evil invading aliens exposed to public, terrorists, religion is probably declined. Summary
volley4eva1698 0
I can't think of a somewhat witty comment for this post
anorexicbarbie 8
Then don't comment?
ScaughtieHolden 11
I can only think of a quote, "Do the chickens have large talons?"
goshpeople 4
"I don't understand a word you just said."
MrFlintstone 5
blame state farm for saving someone enough money to buy a hawk
darkch0colate 0
38, you beat me to it
317theterrible 0
That's something to tell the kids!
F2M2L 5
at least you have a cool reason why your hood got scratched.
Mi24hind 0
Hawks. They will admire themselves while destroying cars.
EmyB_fml 8
Am I the only one that thought of Napoleon Dynamite because of the word "talons" ? (Do chickens have talonsss ?" ) :p
FMLephant 2
You're not the only one 41
Niicky_fml 20
do the chickens have large talons? *adjusts glasses and sniffles*
allenye818 2
haha beat me to it
Eggers 2
boy, I don't understand a word that just came out of your mouth.
WildThang6 0
can't find my check book. hope ya don't mind If I pay you in change.
cosmet109 1
six dollars..........that's like a dollar an hour!
MrXerxes5 6
Its time to go hunting?
camelcaseftw 1
how but we don't...
RandomPotato 0
So? It's just a car. At least you got to see the hawk and it didn't attack you.
smartalek 2
so? whats a car?
smartalek 2
its a car? who cares!
LolMoqz 10
Don't you remember last night?
smartalek 2
so? it's just a car
kittylover94321 0
idk I think it's that thing that ppl drive and go places in like omigod :O...T.T
RandomPotato 0
D: My comment got moderated! :(
ColtsDoug18 0
he was looking at you.. that explains the scratches