Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
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Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
do the chickens have large talons? *adjusts glasses and sniffles*
Mi24hind 0
Hawks. They will admire themselves while destroying cars.
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Comments (100)
CryMoreFMLs 15
I've been looking for Amelia Airheart (sp i know) forever! Still havent found her...
birdfreak 24
where in TX? love bird watching. : )
letmeloveyou 0
at least he didn't poop on your car. Hawk poop is the worst.
The9_3 5
This is very true. I lucked out big time
GoneClubbin 9
did you exchange insurance!
RayMo_fml 1
your an idiot
emerluvsu 6
"Do the chicken have large talons?" Napoleon Dyamite ftw bitches! :)
anothersuicide 0
damn birds, didn't they learn frm all of the clorox commercials.
SteelCladAngel 0
Clorox=bleach I think you're thinking of WINDEX commercials, ya know, that blue stuff people use to clean windows. ;)
shortstuffs23 7
large talons, like in Napolean Dynamite? ha :)
racermjc 0
do the chickens have large talons?
XxMargoxX 0
When OP said talons I seriously thought of Napoleon Dynamite xD