Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Today, a fake soldier tried to chat me up at a bar. I know he was fake because one of his medals is only given posthumously to soldiers who died in combat, like my own dad, yet this creep was claiming he earned it himself. When I confronted him, he busted out my front teeth before running away. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
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Top comments
Zomg_Okay 27
I think 10 minutes was a little excessive, regardless of whether or not he was a soldier.
perdix 31
Are you a stutterer? How long does it take to say, "Thank you for your service?" It's easy to confuse work uniforms with military ones. The paper hat and the stench of rancid fry grease should have tipped you off.
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Comments (152)
shortasalways 9
Having college degrees has nothong to do with it.You are not military. I you want to quote code you should have joined.
gracehi 33
It's so awkward when I'm going about my business, running some errands after work in my uniform, and a passing stranger randomly says, "Thank you." What do I say to that? "You're welcome?" It's not as if I'm doing them a personal favor. I mean, I don't know or care who the hell they are. If Osama Bin Laden's waterlogged zombified corpse crawled out of the ocean and started chowing down on their brain, it would make no difference to me, except that I'd invest in a crossbow and some two by fours. I mean, really, I should thank them, because I get paid for the very thing they're thanking me for with their tax dollars. So that's what I do. "No. Thank YOU, citizen, for paying my salary with your tax dollars."
shortasalways 9
Im going to stop.Obviously you dont get the point. Im trying to drive to work, not argue with a military wannabe.
metalhead4740 14
It's illegal to have name tapes and rank patches. Wearing just the uniform isn't illegal.
nasaboyinspace 14
I do every thing I can to thank a service member if I see them. the person did the right thing by thanking him
BobbieH 19
If you look at the comments from real military personnel here you'll see they don't appreciate you thanking them. It's awkward, puts them on the spot and they don't know/have or want to reply to you.
simonsaysYDI 8
There's a difference between not appreciating and feeling awkward when it happens, and I haven't seen any of them say they don't appreciate a kind word from the citizens they protect or (for those who feel awkward because they haven't been deployed) are willing to protect. My cousin brought a change of clothes in his car so he wouldn't stick out in his uniform, but he always appreciated the comments he got on the occasions he went out in it, even if he would go red in the face and not know how to reply =P. Random story note, I was boarding a plane and there were three men in uniform waiting to board, one of the attendants asked where they were going and they said, "home!" They then got to board before anyone else, to great applause from the three surrounding gates. I thought that was nice but I wonder if they felt weird about it lol.
vintageemerald 10
Why are you guys ganging up on September Sunset? She has obviously copied and pasted a law from the internet so she knows her shit. It isn't like she just created the law.
shan88 14
Oh my god. The bio. What a good read!!! I thought your arguments were valid and so is your reason for arguing :)
Miss_Blaine 18
Honest mistake?
film_addict1129 16
The argument on this thread is ridiculous...talk about starting something over nothing!
rocketiquette 20
Guys guys guys, calm down. He was just role playing for his wife. "Honey I want you to come home and ill answer the door all sexy like..." That's all. No big. Calm your *******.