Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
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Top comments
skorka 5
It's ok, we all mke mistakes sometimes
redbluegreen 41
Does this mean you're on the naughty list?
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Comments (58)
skorka 5
It's ok, we all mke mistakes sometimes
Zomg_Okay 27
Ah, I see what you did there.
NeatNit 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
um, what? what did he do there? I can't for the life of me figure it out...
sugarshane007 20
1- Touché. Well played. 19- Seriously? Go word by word, and then proceed to facepalm when you see it.
TheStormsFury 8
19-That went way too far over your head
cognauticcreix 9
Weak, come on...
ShyAnn29 15
I don't get it
imavelociraptor 6
He misspelled "make"... That was the mistake... Goodness -___-
seandoc 13
#19 Did it really not come to you?
zinoxity 23
Don't worry, I'm sure no one will remember after Christmas.
BryanThaMan 14
If she was a big lady then Santa might
redbluegreen 41
Does this mean you're on the naughty list?
andiewithlove 21
I hope you apologized and helped him up. If not....expect coal. Lots and lots of coal.
thejewishfuhrer 17
Back in the depression me and my daddy used to be on the naughty list just so we could get enough coal for the winter. 'Twas some hard times really
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Why didn't you just stay on the good list and wish for coal?
Spockx 4
Count your blessing, could have been a children riot.
sugarshane007 20
Sometimes it's just fun to play Polar Bowler: The Real Game.
CaptNomNom 17
It's just an accident! I wouldn't hate u for that..
redbluegreen 41
Except you're not a six year old that still believes in Santa.
ilikebikes7 3
Mall santas are the pedophiles of society.
BellaBelle_fml 23
No, pedophiles are the pedophiles of society.
stabbymcstabstab 6
Or that being a mall Santa is the only job the could land.
billyz77 24
Score one for you. Last time my kid sat on a mall Santa's lap, she said he smelled like booze.
FYLDeep 26
Why is your kid so familiar with the smell of booze?
MrThumbsItUpMan 8
How does your little kid even know what booze smells like?
billyz77 24
She said "He smells like Uncle Larry." Her Uncle Larry really liked his Black Velvet.
andiewithlove 21
Did you not have a childhood? If I was little and I saw someone knock over Santa, regardless if it was an accident or not, they're getting the "you're dead to me" look.