Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Today, a fake soldier tried to chat me up at a bar. I know he was fake because one of his medals is only given posthumously to soldiers who died in combat, like my own dad, yet this creep was claiming he earned it himself. When I confronted him, he busted out my front teeth before running away. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
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Top comments
Zomg_Okay 27
I think 10 minutes was a little excessive, regardless of whether or not he was a soldier.
perdix 31
Are you a stutterer? How long does it take to say, "Thank you for your service?" It's easy to confuse work uniforms with military ones. The paper hat and the stench of rancid fry grease should have tipped you off.
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Comments (152)
CestLaGuerre 3
Driving while using your phone? Is yelling at someone over the internet of that much worth to you to endanger others while driving? Spouses deserve respect for all that they endure throughout their husband's/wife's service. Do not put down someone else. You should be ashamed of yourself for putting your rudeness above others' lives by using your phone while driving.
Wafflestomper 22
I say it was worth a shot. People who do serve deserve our respect... just not for 10 minutes.
skyeyez9 25
What a piece of shit wearing a military uniform and he never served!
skyeyez9 25
There was a man who had a son in the same gymnastics class as my daughter. He would come in wearing an army uniform, unit patches, nametape, Combat infantry badge, special forces, ranger tab, sapper, and lieutenant colonel rank. I asked him what unit he was in since i recognized the unit badge on his shoulder and rank was the same as my husband.....he said "well, I'm in the 8th combat unit. We go and fight in covert operations." So I pointed him out as a piece of shit fraud. He left and hasn't been back.
Steffi 26
If I were a solider, I'd be really annoyed if a stranger kept going on and on like that to me.
iwadasn 33
10 minutes of talk from a total stranger would be annoying even if he had been a soldier. It takes about 10 seconds to say, "Thank you for your service." Anything more than that is just making a nuisance of yourself.
BobbieH 19
OP YDI, real solider or not, taking up 10 minutes of their time because you felt the need to interrupt their day is ridiculous. If you feel the need, and from real military people's replies they wish you didn't; just say thank you for your service and go about your business. My brother-in-law is a Marine and he hates when people feel the need to thank him. His service is not about you at all. It's awkward and he doesn't want to bothered by random people.
gc327072 31
Some women like SS make me sick. You act all high and mighty just because you married a soldier. So what? Last I checked, the constitution doesn't grant titles of nobility, so stop acting like you're the queen of the whole goddamn Internet. And you're leeching off his status just to sound cool? How very un-classy. You say your hobbies are sewing and soap making, well no wonder you had a 4.0, home-ec degrees are pretty easy..... I bet she can make epic sandwiches though…
Meettitan 14
Dafuq did I just read?...
kalbrek009 20
I don't see how they "deserved it" if the guy they were thanking wasn't actually a soldier but just being an impersonating tool. Yes, 10 minutes of carrying on is excessive, yet (personally I'd have reported the tool who was faking being a soldier)