Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Today, a fake soldier tried to chat me up at a bar. I know he was fake because one of his medals is only given posthumously to soldiers who died in combat, like my own dad, yet this creep was claiming he earned it himself. When I confronted him, he busted out my front teeth before running away. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
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Top comments
Zomg_Okay 27
I think 10 minutes was a little excessive, regardless of whether or not he was a soldier.
perdix 31
Are you a stutterer? How long does it take to say, "Thank you for your service?" It's easy to confuse work uniforms with military ones. The paper hat and the stench of rancid fry grease should have tipped you off.
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Comments (152)
kingsian 15
I already know my comment will get buried but get off his dick
hxcbarbie21 4
You sure it wasn't a different branch? They all get slightly offended if you call em something else, and I'm sure that 10 minutes made you look like a psycho.
Pyapi 20
I find it amusing that OP says he's "a bit of a patriot" and then spends 10 minutes thanking a random person.
Sir_Swaggington 6
10 minutes of rambling to a stranger is almost always a bad idea lol. YDI, a simple "Thank you for protecting our country." would've sufficed. However, it's kind of strange that a random dude would be wearing a soldier's uniform; it's not even near Halloween... Now I'm rambling and will probably get downvoted for it D: Oh well, better post an FML about it :D
smedic34 3
Dumbass posers.
pipinya 8
Well tell him he's a bit late for Halloween
chiblood 11
As an army ROTC cadet, I'm not even supposed to wear my uniform in public places not near the college. If he was wearing an actual army uniform it is EXTREMELY disrespectful.
ariaofdoom 16
ROTC does not equal real Army life... generally if you're travelling on military orders you travel in uniform, but your command will dictate that.
NigerianMedicine 11
What do you mean by "uniform"? Dress blues? Actual BDU?
havesomehope 6
Im an Air Force ROTC cadet-we get in serious trouble if we just wander around in public. Youre not supposed to just go and hang out in places with the uniform on. Just go in, get what you need and get out is what they tell us. If he wasnt a soldier you either dont know what an Army Uniform looks like or he was being disrespectful to our countrys service men and women by wearing it.
SUPA_TOLL_CAL 6
I knew someone who always walked in uniform as if he were badass turns out he was just the cook at the army base.