Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Today, a fake soldier tried to chat me up at a bar. I know he was fake because one of his medals is only given posthumously to soldiers who died in combat, like my own dad, yet this creep was claiming he earned it himself. When I confronted him, he busted out my front teeth before running away. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I, a retired U.S. Army soldier, was shouted down and called a liberal snowflake and even accused of stolen valor. Why? I admitted that I absolutely hate Trump. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
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Top comments
Zomg_Okay 27
I think 10 minutes was a little excessive, regardless of whether or not he was a soldier.
perdix 31
Are you a stutterer? How long does it take to say, "Thank you for your service?" It's easy to confuse work uniforms with military ones. The paper hat and the stench of rancid fry grease should have tipped you off.
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Comments (152)
katiemarek2 10
I am in the military and you have no idea how amazing it feels to shake someones hand and hear a thank you. Although I have not been deployed, I still make a difference. I am so outraged by people who pretend to be military when they are not. I swore 6 years of my life. I have 3 loved ones overseas and we didn't make this commitment to have people treat it like a joke. HOOAH!
BloodFaerie 21
Thank you for your service. :)
Jordanln97 9
Isn't that a crime if I had a legit uniform on?
KiddNYC1O 22
I would look out for an ak47 to make sure.
souljacker 11
Wtf is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what you are thanking them for?
SenoraTaco 4
Well it isn't that hard to get an army uniform. They have them at Ranger Joe's in Georgia and you can order them online. The only real difference is you don't get ranking tags with it or name tags and the American flag.. I compared it to my brothers actual one and other than that, they're the same
88vivera 9
Dont talk to strangers next tine
bagsoffairydust 10
Why is this under the love category?
lcod77 3
Boost
Lipbalm80 3
Camo is the new trend haha
BloodFaerie 21
As someone whose parents were in the Army, I don't think someone should be wearing an army uniform if they're not Army. (The only slight exception is the clearly fake ones for Halloween...) Was it Halloween, OP? If not, then the guy should be ashamed of himself... not OP