Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, a fake soldier tried to chat me up at a bar. I know he was fake because one of his medals is only given posthumously to soldiers who died in combat, like my own dad, yet this creep was claiming he earned it himself. When I confronted him, he busted out my front teeth before running away. FML
Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
Today, as a college student on a budget, I treated myself to a haircut. The stylist asked if I liked it, even though it was much shorter than I wanted, and I said yes. When I got home, my roommate asked if I had joined the military. My mom asked if I was OK. I'm wearing hats for the foreseeable future. FML
Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML
Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
It’s people like you that makes it harder to get what I deserve because hoops are harder to jump through. YDI
metroido 21
Pretty sure that’s a federal crime.
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Comments (13)
mike3775 39
It’s people like you that makes it harder to get what I deserve because hoops are harder to jump through. YDI
RichardPencil 32
Mr. Gronkowski, you can't actually believe that the Good Ship Lollipop is a US Navy vessel?
metroido 21
Pretty sure that’s a federal crime.
wysegirl 24
it is.
rudico67 8
Wow, you are a piece of crap and terrible human being.
JackWood 21
Not just a low life but a stupid one as well.
Hangryko 32
@$$
Ticonderogapencils 17
You seriously have the nerve to post an FML about getting called out for stolen valor? You disgust me. You're lucky that the actual vet didn't beat the crap out of you or call the cops on you
Michael Sawyer 11
Stolen Valor: It's Still A Crime Under the 2013 law, it is a violation of federal law for someone to falsely claim military service, awards and decorations, or “embellished rank.” But what makes this a crime? The intent to get money, property, or some other benefit by making the false claim. you are a piece of crap.
phybreawptic 13
Family guy predicted this.
jman432 5
You do not deserve happiness. You are the reason I struggle to get a disability. You are the worst person in the world