Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML
Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
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Top comments
peachesncreem 21
And how does she think she's going to achieve that?
sisterjameela 7
How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.
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Comments (126)
HelloThereFML 1
Someone has been watching the first frankenweenie by Tim Burton :D
skyeyez9 25
When I was young, My best friend's older sister used to purposely drown honeybees in my swimming pool, then try to revive them. I told her she was crazy and it won't work and So she demonstrated: She would keep it underwater for like 3-4 mins. Then bring it up, press lightly on its abdomen repeatedly and surprisingly, they came back. She also used to smear firefly butts across her cheeks to make them glow like "indian war paint." Weird kid.
Myo_fml 20
Won't you feel a fool whenever she's a high paid doctor someday or discovers a way to reverse death?..... Yeah, who am I kidding? Go clean it up.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Do it anyway. Her side effects your side. Or better yet just throwaway her stuff at random and dare her to say something about it. My parents told me if you don't clean it then I'm going to clean it and you won't like when I clean cause my solution is just to start throwing stuff away. And tell her men don't like messy chicks.
MuseFan1991 14
pardon? i think you may have the wrong fml...
MuseFan1991 14
my bad, i read the comment too quickly and misunderstood. please dont hate me :(
stormchaser24 24
Great a zombie ant, or frankin ant. I know I spelled that wrong.
linkinpark98 24
Yes…yes… My plan is also coming along well. The flies have been moving, but are not yet fully capable of flying…
ch3s 4
#69 You are amazing.
BonVoyage_fml 5
Hahaha, very odd. I hope she is young.
metalwolf 17
Revive...dead...ants... Great, now we know where the zombie apocalypse started.
Turtle_rebellion 10
You know you have a problem when you practice necromancy... On ants