Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML
Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
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Top comments
peachesncreem 21
And how does she think she's going to achieve that?
sisterjameela 7
How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.
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Comments (126)
flutter4 7
Whatever floats her boat
Calingaladha 21
I'm imagining your sister rubbing her feet on the carpet and poking ants, trying to static shock them back to life.
Arosamond 7
well, if you're attacked in the dead of night by a zombie ant army, you'll know who to turn to.
PhishloverA 14
I revived a centipede once
David199619 8
I'm pretty sure I moderated this, or I saw it in a dream before haha.
mrsmaglietta 6
did she murder them first?
PamChopsWithMint 5
Has she succeeded?! If she has, that's amazing.
zach8771 3
The white walkers
slifer151 3
Haha that's just brilliant, I always try to go to sleep happy and that image has done the trick xD thanks OP
neonglostix 28
May I adopt your sister? From now on, you should refer to her as Dr Frankenstein. I really hope your discovery was as awesome as it is in my head!