Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML
Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
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Top comments
peachesncreem 21
And how does she think she's going to achieve that?
sisterjameela 7
How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.
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Comments (126)
SystemofaBlink41 27
hahaha that's great! Is she in some weird ant cult I should know about?
pinkzilla0 8
Now that's an ant farm of a different color. Does anyone get the reference? Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos? Sprockets? SNL? No? Okay, I'll go now...
MURIKKA 11
Germany's most disturbing home videos? That sounds like it could be a really ****** up show.
pinkzilla0 8
It was a Saturday Night Live skit way back when Mike Meyers and Dana Carney were on the show. Meyers had a recurring character called Sprockets. It was hilarious.
perdix 31
The character was Dieter, the show was called "Sprockets." Your story has become tiresome, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance!
namyo 13
Yes she has been playing skyrim non stop for a few months and now believes it is real
savannah0790 0
Hopefully, she's young, if not, she might need some help, lol.
vintagemeow 6
Hey, I'm sure she doesn't need help, she's perfectly capable of reviving ants by herself.
bustub2 8
Better than dead aunts
Myo_fml 20
You live an hour from me. >3 -stalk, stalk, stalk- (Just kidding, lol. I needed to match my quota of creepy comments for the day)
chellyX92 8
I'd hop on that. If she succeeds she'll have an army if zombie ants trillion strong. YOU CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! No? Ok well take a sweeper to her side and call it a day. The army idea sounds cooler though.
roseXthorns 8
Haven't ants already out populated humans? They're just smaller so it doesn't really seem like it.
Outnuendo 8
I'm pretty sure the Wiccan symbols and eerie latin canting would be a dead giveaway, but waddya know.
GothicAngel17 24
I'd just like to point out that Wicca has nothing to do with raising the dead. At all. I think you meant to say "heathen symbols", "demonic symbols" or even "pagan symbols". I'd also like to say in advance to any Wiccans who are offended by this little mistake, please be quiet. Seriously.
ebonyirony 29
27- wiccans are not stereotypical witches. They're more into nature. What's currently living. Thanks.
Outnuendo 8
She's trying to revive, of all things, dead ants. You think she's going to know that Wiccans don't raise the dead?
patrickalamo 48
Zombie ants
English92 4
Is your sister by any chance Dr Frankenstein
Thelnternet 7
is your comment by any chance overused?