Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML
Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
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Top comments
peachesncreem 21
And how does she think she's going to achieve that?
sisterjameela 7
How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.
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Comments (126)
DocBastard 40
Necromantsy by Dr. Frankantstein. Cool.
GothicAngel17 24
Damn 'baby brain', I actually thought you had made a spelling mistake Doc. I was horrified for at least an entire minute before my brain actually clicked.
KingCeltic77 18
Arkays light will pour in and destroy her necromancy.
superhumangambit 4
She clearly belongs in a padded room.
Alastrina_fml 20
Your sister is nuts!
Ozuru 11
No shit.
clauudss 2
Wait, how old is she?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
If you create an ant hospital, I will destroy it. I am allergic to them, and I hate them. They steal my pies.
foshizzle82 7
Everyone needs a hobby. Some like to read, some play sports, others try to revive dead ants...
loserboii 11
Dead ants, then animals, then people. My god your sister might be the reason 2012 becomes true.
ch3s 4
Ants and humans are both animals.
babe7260 30
She sounds like she needs a councillor !!
Myo_fml 20
And you sound like you need a grammar and spelling teacher.
dashizam 10
32-when they evolve, we shall kill them with head and shoulders.