Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML
Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
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Top comments
omegaxen 0
That blows!
Hockey_fan 0
Well that really sucks" That really "Dampened" your spirits That "blows" Well..we all seen it "Coming" ...I'm sorry
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Comments (432)
coldsteele152 1
Im gonna puke
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
christ almighty! does noone else think FML has now reached new levels of insanity/nastyness?
FYLDeep 26
This is probably one of the best FMLs I've read in a while.
waha_fml 0
How did you find out that "was where hookers take their clients"?
cthomb 0
I think his mom took him to work during "bring your kids to work week"
laideehawk 6
Most. Disgusting. FML. Ever.
missashzilla 17
Haha. Wow that's so terrible but so hilarious at the same time.
music87 14
Oh my hell... Better get checked for STD's...
Furry_dude 6
So that's why you got herpes at age 5!!! The mystery is solved!!!
LadyGorgeous 4
He got herpes at 5?
Furry_dude 6
If he was putting his mouth on used condoms, he very well could have
aToMiCsHiNoBi 3
no i think he got it from his dad, those were his condoms anyway.
Furry_dude 6
Either way, his life is pretty ******
Krista835 5
I'm wondering how the OP found out.. I like to think he hired a prostitute and went to that place and threw a condom there and then he had some flashbacks before it all clicked.
lovelife_1284 3
you were puttibg stuuf that was on the ground in your mouth..... of coursevitd turn out to be condoms
THE_A_TEEN 28
I..I think...it's trying to...communicate.
leadman1989 16
No, quick kill it with fire, before it has a chance to imitate one of use.
niplipsip 9
169, 256... best comments.. ever.
sugarkiller_fml 6
Write to your local senator that hookers need to be enlightened about environmental protection , say, no littering on the street, before they can be allowed to work.